victor felix's definitions

jazz-hole

The mouth of a horn-playing jazz musician. Sounds nasty (intentionally so), but it's not.

Lester's free-form sax playing was driving Bart nuts, so the frazzled Bart opened the window and yelled out, "Yo, man, shut your jazz-hole!"

by Victor Felix September 21, 2005

courtesy suck

Oral sex, usually a blow job, that's initiated by someone as a kindly or courteous gesture. A courtesy suck can also refer to a woman who allows someone who's obsessed by her breasts to suckle her nipples as a courteous gesture - term coined by Mark Hänser of Boston, MA.

Synonyms: courtesy fuck, pity-fuck

1.Josh was such a pathetic dork, but after he blew his paycheck taking Monica out to dinner and a movie, Monica took pity on him - she found Josh's puppy-dog crush on her oddly endearing - and gave him a blow job. But it was purely a courtesy suck; she had no intention of swollowing, let alone letting him cum in her mouth.

2. Mike was so obsessed by Aurelianne's massive, pillow-y breasts and she, in turn, was so flattered by his attention to them that she allowed him to suckle her nipples while he carressed his manhood - a courtesy suck.

by Victor Felix September 27, 2005

double-ugly

Refers to someone so very, very ugly that he or she can only be discribed as double-ugly. Similar to butt-ugly but twice as repulsive; hence the plural.

One of the first instances of "double-ugly" in print was in a classic "Tom and Jerry" comic book from the 1950s.

Alternative spellings include: double ugly, doubly-ugly. Using a dash is proper when spelling compound adverbs and adjectives.

"Ugly? He's beyond ugly - he's so fucking ugly he's double-ugly!"

by Victor Felix December 28, 2005

hanser

An extremely talented, intelligent, often very attractive person who fails to live up to popular expectations, especially if mental health issues are involved (after Mark Hänser, a gifted but tormented Bostonian painter/poet/actor/performance artist who was offered a modeling contract soon after graduating from Harvard). Can also be used as a verb to describe the same.

She was offered a recording contract, but in her usual confused fashion, she hanser'd the opportunity and fell back into obscurity.

by Victor Felix July 11, 2006

Courtesy Suckle

A kindly gesture by a woman blessed with an ample, shapely busom who allows someone obsessed by her breasts to suckle her nipples as an erotic courtesy.

(Term coined by Mark Hänser of Boston, MA.)

Synonym: courtesy suck

Claudius was so obsessed by Aurelianne's massive, pillow-y breasts that she, flattered by his attention to them, allowed him a courtesy suckle.

by Victor Felix September 19, 2005

double-cunt (double-cunt)

A woman or gay man so "cuntish" in behavior that she or he can only be insultingly described as a double-cunt (double-cunt) - parentheticals added as an alliteration to emphasize such doubly-cuntishly behavior (an homage to DoubleMint Gum). Term coined by Mark Hänser of Boston, MA.

Lee was such a cunt; so much so that only the term "double-cunt (double-cunt)" would do.

by Victor Felix September 6, 2005

pop tart

Actually, the use of "pop-tart" as an adjective for a slatternly pop singer was first coined by Mark Hänser in the Long Beach (California) Union Daily in 1983, first in reference to "Pat Bena-tart" then famously about Scandal's Patty Smyth (of "Goodbye To You" and "The Warrior" fame.)

By Mark Hänser, from the CSULB Union Daily's "finals week" issue of June, 1983:

"Pop Tart (pop tärt) n. 1. A delightful toaster pastry manufactured by Kellogg's of Battle Creek, MI. Often iced, the flaky treat is filled with either yummy fruits or some other sweet, such as chocolate or brown sugar-cinnamon. adj. 2. Patty Smyth, lead singer of the pop-rocking quintet Scandal. Possessing a certain fondness for leather-topped party dresses and long black gloves. Smyth follows in the footsteps of a long line of female perfomers who like to tease as much as torch. syn - Pat Benatar, Suzi Quatro."

by Victor Felix December 28, 2005