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urbanlunatic's definitions

Clam Eyes

When a beefcake (usually someone named Luke) is confronted in the street by enemy (usually someone named Trung or Tyler) and the beefcake puts his hands on the back of his head to appear harmless before suddenly taking enemy by surprise by lunging into their skull and slamming his elbows together into the sides of the enemy’s temples causing a loud ‘crack’ like a clam. Beefcake then points elbows forward and inserts elbows into enemy eye sockets causing eyes to bleed. Usually the enemy is not a threat, but may appear to need a good lesson anyway. Often the beefcake will perform a solid spinning hook kick for good measure on said opponent(s) so it looks like they were just clumsy. Cops will not usually believe the assault occurred.
“Oh man, that dude totally got clam eyes! LOL did Luke just ask Trung ‘what’s up’? Emotional damage!”
by urbanlunatic March 17, 2026
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Thanks-poofing

On Thanksgiving of any year, it is said to be good luck to get bashed in the skull if you happen to be a poof. Generally it is even greater luck if the police tell you to simply forget about it, or even that it didn't happen at all, not enough witnesses, etc. Consider this your lucky day if you get pummelled by a group of hecklers for no reason whatsoever.
Thanks-poofing for the good luck beating!
by urbanlunatic October 18, 2022
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