Definitions by twisted english

Bitch cream 

An ointment or salve that is applied liberally to the skin to avoid irritation upon contact with a irrational female.

Example:
Guy1 Where are we going now?
Guy2 To Teresa's house.

Guy3 Damn. You need to turn this car around now!

Guy1 WTF? We're almost there.

Guy2 Cuz homie forgot his bitch cream! Every time she opens her mouth homie gets hives.

Bitch cream by twisted english September 17, 2014

:-o(///) 

Oh Lordy! Holy shit! Mother of pearl! Damn! You freakin serious?! Awww Helll! Good God!

She just dropped and smashed that $700 smartphone. She has no insurance. :-o(///)

:-o(///) by twisted english August 30, 2014

inbox buddy 

Similar to keypal or penpal. A good, reliable friendship with a male or female through e-mail contact only, and most likely someone you'll never meet in person. Also similar to textie-friendie but done with e-mail.

Female: Look, I found a funny redneck quiz online! I scored a 41%! Lol
To her friend: This is so silly I have to let my inbox buddy know so we can compare answers.

Friend: send it to me too so I can take the quiz!
To her friend: I don't need to. I already know your answer, 100%! Lmao

inbox buddy by twisted english August 24, 2014

digiplunk

Verb. The act of Dropping a cellphone or any other electronic device into the toilet.
Noun. The sound made when an electronic device is dropped into toilet water.

Well there went that remote. My son is in the bathroom again and I heard the digiplunk.

digiplunk by twisted english May 29, 2014

selftard 

A selfish bastard who cares only about his own comfort and is ignorant to other people's needs.

He lavishes himself in expensive clothes, while his son wears rags. His girfriend has to drive a clunker, but he demands to use his parents mercedes. Damn, What a selftard!

selftard by twisted english May 25, 2014

textie-friendie

Someone you only communicate with by text and will likely never meet in person. Someone you text who is neither a boyfriend or girlfriend, just an acquaintance.

Its nice that we've never met but are so textie-friendie. We can text about whatever, whenever we feel like it, and there's no drama.

textie-friendie by twisted english May 25, 2014