the comand'r's definitions

extortion abortion

When an extortion attempt turns in to an aborted mission

When an extortion attempt turns in to an aborted mission

Hub: dude, what even happened to the whole shit-show with Patricia?

Barney: you mean the voice memo threatening me with urban dictionary posts to get me fired?

Hub: ya, did you turn that voice memo in to the police and California Bar Association?

Barney: nah, from some reason she backed off after filing a bunch of anonymous complaints, essentially pulling an extortion abortion and not sure why. Oddly he switched is focus on Kat

Hub: ah, dousche defined

by the comand'r January 11, 2024

COVIDgilent

Keeping careful watch for possible danger driven by the COVID-19 Virus

Ken: Mom is freaked out about the COVID-19. She is scaring me because every time I cough, she is telling me we need to go to the drive-thru testing.

Barney: Ya, Mom is just being COVIDgilent about da rona to be protective of our family.

by the comand'r March 18, 2020

co-V-ed

The term used to identify mixed gender educational facilities in the COVID-19 pandemic. COVID-19 turns co-ed to co-V-ed.

Jill: Kat’s going back to college in August and the dorms are open.

Paige: Really?

Jill: Ya, she’s attending a CO-v-ED university. Back to school Fall 2020.

Paige: Make sure she remains COVIDgilent.

by the comand'r June 21, 2020

crossfade cocktail

A key move used by savvy drinkers where you have about one quarter of your cocktail left as you approach the bartender for your next, as not to go bone dry. Similar to the DJ crossfade smooth transition from one song to the next by turning the volume down on the first song as it ends and up on the new song as it begins.

Barney: Eric got toasted last night

Pablo: Ya, it was his birthday and he was full on with the crossfade cocktail. Never had an empty. Melissa kept Drew happy to with a stay-cup. It was a great party that resulted in no target vomiting.

by the comand'r October 22, 2022

Ring dong ditch

The foiled tradition of the ding dong ditch which is slowly dying due to the Ring doorbell. Pranksters who attempt the ding dong ditch are now caught on camera when they hit a Ring household. And, with the built-in motion sensor in the Ring, the flaming bag of dog pooh is now a dying prank.

Sky TP'd a house last weekend with his friends. To get him back, the victim of the TP pulled a ding dong ditch at 2:49am, though they were cold-busted by the Ring. Caught full on video footage, so Sky's parents made a call to Jamie's parents and shared the video - Ring dong ditch. Busted!

by the comand'r May 30, 2019

sea turdle

The result of taking a crap in the ocean, aka code brown when executed in a pool.

Ryan: Sarah and I were doing a deep dive and she dropped a deuce at about 45 feet right in her wet suit.

Jill: I had heard about the sea turdle, though never known someone to actually see one hatched in person.

by the comand'r October 26, 2014

lobby log

When traveling with your wife and staying in a hotel, the man is not allowed to shit in the hotel room bathroom. This international law applies even if she is not in the room at the time the man does his bidness.

Marrie: Herbie, I came back from my spa appointment and was fouled by what I thought to be a crowd clearer. I did some deuce diligence to learn that you capped in our hotel room toilet.

Herbie: Sorry babe. I went to drop off my lobby log downstairs, but they were cleaning the lobby bathrooms. Couldn't hold after 3 cups of coffee.

by the comand'r May 28, 2023