battered

being very very extremely drunk

- Where are my shoes? I need more drink. I think I might be battered. Oh look I've fallen over. Where's this bra come from?

by selmabouvier December 19, 2003

illusionist

A friend who's shit at keeping in touch - they appear and disappear at will/random.

- So have you seen Alan recently?
- No, no one has.
- He some kind of illusionist or something?
- Guess so.

by selmabouvier December 19, 2003

mercyfuck

Fucking someone because you feel deeply sorry for them. Meaning has also extended to include fucking because you feel sorry for yourself. Could be the perfect present for someone trekking the Sahara.

- So you mercyfucked Jody?
- Yeah, she's a munter and I had to have the lights out but she was so damn grateful, it was kinda cute.

by selmabouvier December 19, 2003

giant beefeater

shockingly bad present. see series 2 of i'm alan partridge.

- so what did you get for christmas?
- shit all. load of giant beefeater. you?
- same.

by selmabouvier December 19, 2003

a quick drink

a night you will never remember, phone numbers you will never ring, 90 per cent bruising and a ravished bank account.

- Fancy a quick drink?
- Sure...

the next evening

- Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

by selmabouvier December 19, 2003