Rytard (noun)
Definition: A man who, despite multiple emotional TED Talks, detailed text messages, and crying in front of him twice, still doesn’t understand how he hurt you. Often replies to heartfelt confessions with “huh?” or “you should’ve told me.” The human embodiment of selective hearing and weaponized cluelessness.
Common Traits:
• Confused even after diagrams
• Apologizes without knowing what for
• Thinks emotional maturity is “too much drama”
• Responds to “I need space” with “wyd?”
Definition: A man who, despite multiple emotional TED Talks, detailed text messages, and crying in front of him twice, still doesn’t understand how he hurt you. Often replies to heartfelt confessions with “huh?” or “you should’ve told me.” The human embodiment of selective hearing and weaponized cluelessness.
Common Traits:
• Confused even after diagrams
• Apologizes without knowing what for
• Thinks emotional maturity is “too much drama”
• Responds to “I need space” with “wyd?”
Example: “I literally explained why I was upset in a paragraph and this Rytard said ‘damn that’s crazy.’”
by pusscyq882 May 13, 2025
Rytard
(noun)
Definition:
A man who, despite multiple emotional TED Talks, detailed text messages, and crying in front of him twice, still doesn’t understand how he hurt you. Often replies to heartfelt confessions with “huh?” or “you should’ve told me.” The human embodiment of selective hearing and weaponized cluelessness.
Common Traits:
Confused even after diagrams
Apologizes without knowing what for
Thinks emotional maturity is “too much drama”
Responds to “I need space” with “wyd?”
Synonyms for Rytard
Ryan’t – when he almost gets it, but tragically doesn’t
Clownfused – when he’s both a clown and confused
Man-splainer Zero – he can explain crypto but not your feelings
Gaslight Gatsby – charming, toxic, and completely unaware
Oopsie Ex – always “didn’t know” he hurt you... again
Selective Listener 3000 – hears “hi” but not “you hurt me”
Bare Minimum Barry – thinks “wyd?” at 11 p.m. is love
Emotionally Offline – updated his phone, not his empathy
SorryBot – says “sorry you feel that way,” never “sorry I did that”
(noun)
Definition:
A man who, despite multiple emotional TED Talks, detailed text messages, and crying in front of him twice, still doesn’t understand how he hurt you. Often replies to heartfelt confessions with “huh?” or “you should’ve told me.” The human embodiment of selective hearing and weaponized cluelessness.
Common Traits:
Confused even after diagrams
Apologizes without knowing what for
Thinks emotional maturity is “too much drama”
Responds to “I need space” with “wyd?”
Synonyms for Rytard
Ryan’t – when he almost gets it, but tragically doesn’t
Clownfused – when he’s both a clown and confused
Man-splainer Zero – he can explain crypto but not your feelings
Gaslight Gatsby – charming, toxic, and completely unaware
Oopsie Ex – always “didn’t know” he hurt you... again
Selective Listener 3000 – hears “hi” but not “you hurt me”
Bare Minimum Barry – thinks “wyd?” at 11 p.m. is love
Emotionally Offline – updated his phone, not his empathy
SorryBot – says “sorry you feel that way,” never “sorry I did that”
Example:
“I literally explained why I was upset in a paragraph and this Rytard said ‘damn that’s crazy.’”
“I literally explained why I was upset in a paragraph and this Rytard said ‘damn that’s crazy.’”
by pusscyq882 May 13, 2025