A blartner is simply a friend that is very close to you that has both the weight and skill set of the one and only Paul Blart.
by purplelvmbo September 25, 2017
Uh oh! Here comes my Lithuanian Lava Lamp!
by purplelvmbo September 25, 2017
One who is addicted to sucking the life out of dwarfed homo sapiens through their genitalia until they shrivel up like a withered old lady.
by purplelvmbo September 25, 2017