nicholas d's definitions
Acronym for collateralized debt obligation, a funding tool that banks use to package up a bunch of bonds (often subprime mortgage backed), then divide the package up into new bonds and sell them after skimming a few million dollars off the top. Usually called "diversified," but if you've got dog shit, horse shit, ape shit, and elephant shit, then you can call it whatever you want, but at the end of the day you're still just holding a gigantic pile of shit.
A way of putting lipstick on a pig that banks milked the hell out of from the mid-1990's til 2007. Unfortunately the banks got totally Bear Stearned when everyone saw through the lipstick and they were caught holding a whole sty of CDO pigs.
A way of putting lipstick on a pig that banks milked the hell out of from the mid-1990's til 2007. Unfortunately the banks got totally Bear Stearned when everyone saw through the lipstick and they were caught holding a whole sty of CDO pigs.
Banker: "I've got this great investment for you. It's called a CDO."
Sucker: "Um...I've heard bad things about those. What's so good about this one?"
Banker: "It's diversified! It's got subprime mortgage bonds from Kansas, subprime mortgage bonds from Georgia, subprime mortgage bonds from Nevada, and subprime mortgage bonds from Michigan!"
Sucker: "I've heard bad things about subprime - do you have anything else?"
Banker: "Of course! This other CDO is even MORE diversified. It's got Ninja loans, loans to homeless people to buy crack, Iraqi government debt, and loans to people that need some money to bet on the roulette wheel in Vegas. Of course there's almost NO chance that any of those people won't be able to pay back what they owe."
Sucker: "SOLD! Give me $10 million of it!"
Sucker: "Um...I've heard bad things about those. What's so good about this one?"
Banker: "It's diversified! It's got subprime mortgage bonds from Kansas, subprime mortgage bonds from Georgia, subprime mortgage bonds from Nevada, and subprime mortgage bonds from Michigan!"
Sucker: "I've heard bad things about subprime - do you have anything else?"
Banker: "Of course! This other CDO is even MORE diversified. It's got Ninja loans, loans to homeless people to buy crack, Iraqi government debt, and loans to people that need some money to bet on the roulette wheel in Vegas. Of course there's almost NO chance that any of those people won't be able to pay back what they owe."
Sucker: "SOLD! Give me $10 million of it!"
by Nicholas D March 26, 2008
Get the CDO mug.“All restaurants must close indoor and outdoor dining!” Gavin Newsom the Covypocrite proclaimed in between bites of white truffle covered foie gras at a large group indoor dinner at The French Laundry.
by Nicholas D December 2, 2020
Get the covypocrite mug.Jeff: "Hey man, you should swing by my place on Friday night. It's going to be a total excrement expo!"
Ryan: "Real shit show, huh? I'll be there!"
*Ding Dong*
Jeff: "Welcome to the shit show, man."
Ryan: "Um...it smells bad in here. Where's the keg? Why don't I see any hot girls?"
Jeff: "Even better my friend. This right here is a rare petrified dropping from a 15th century dodo bird...oh and this one over here came from a woolly mammoth 100,000 years ago!"
Ryan: "Dude. I didn't realize you meant that literally. This is a bunch of bullshit."
Jeff: "No, the bull shit is in the other room. Really interesting stuff. Let me show you."
Ryan: "Screw this. I'm swayze."
Ryan: "Real shit show, huh? I'll be there!"
*Ding Dong*
Jeff: "Welcome to the shit show, man."
Ryan: "Um...it smells bad in here. Where's the keg? Why don't I see any hot girls?"
Jeff: "Even better my friend. This right here is a rare petrified dropping from a 15th century dodo bird...oh and this one over here came from a woolly mammoth 100,000 years ago!"
Ryan: "Dude. I didn't realize you meant that literally. This is a bunch of bullshit."
Jeff: "No, the bull shit is in the other room. Really interesting stuff. Let me show you."
Ryan: "Screw this. I'm swayze."
by Nicholas D February 27, 2011
Get the excrement expo mug.Boss: "As you know, it's been a tough year. We've lost $4 billion. So your bonus this year is going to be...um...negative $100,000. So if you would be so kind as to go ahead and return the full amount of every paycheck you've received this year, that would be greeeeaaat, m'kay?"
Subprime mortgage trader: "What? That's not fair! It's not my fault! You're the one who decided to buy all those Ninja loans, CDOs, and Bear Stearns shares!"
Boss: "Too bad, chief. If you don't like it, vote with your feet."
Paul McCartney: "Bloody hell, woman - what's taking so long? Get me that sammich now!"
Heather Mills: "You can't treat me like this! I'm your wife, not your slave!"
Paul McCartney: "I'm Paul McCartney, bitch! If you've got a problem, vote with your feet! Oops, I mean vote with your FOOT...hahahahahahaha! "
(NOTE: for those who don't know, Heather Mills had her left leg amputated)
Subprime mortgage trader: "What? That's not fair! It's not my fault! You're the one who decided to buy all those Ninja loans, CDOs, and Bear Stearns shares!"
Boss: "Too bad, chief. If you don't like it, vote with your feet."
Paul McCartney: "Bloody hell, woman - what's taking so long? Get me that sammich now!"
Heather Mills: "You can't treat me like this! I'm your wife, not your slave!"
Paul McCartney: "I'm Paul McCartney, bitch! If you've got a problem, vote with your feet! Oops, I mean vote with your FOOT...hahahahahahaha! "
(NOTE: for those who don't know, Heather Mills had her left leg amputated)
by Nicholas D March 25, 2008
Get the vote with your feet mug.A rhetorical question used when one is in a difficult predicament and the circumstances suddenly change in his/her favor, such as when the person in trouble pulls out a gat or when his/her posse shows up ready to whoop some ass. Often followed by "bitch" or "punk" to further assert dominance.
Barack Obama: "Now that I've won the Iowa caucus, I have the Democratic nomination in the bag. The New Hampshire primary is going to be a walk in the park."
(Hillary Clinton wins New Hampshire primary)
Hillary Clinton: "Hell yeah! What's up now, bitch???"
(Barack Obama wins the Democratic nomination)
Hillary Clinton (obviously insincerely): "Congratulations, Senator Obama. I am so happy for you. The American people definitely made the right choice."
Barack Obama: "Three words, Senator Clinton: WHAT'S UP NOW?!?!?!"
(Hillary Clinton wins New Hampshire primary)
Hillary Clinton: "Hell yeah! What's up now, bitch???"
(Barack Obama wins the Democratic nomination)
Hillary Clinton (obviously insincerely): "Congratulations, Senator Obama. I am so happy for you. The American people definitely made the right choice."
Barack Obama: "Three words, Senator Clinton: WHAT'S UP NOW?!?!?!"
by Nicholas D February 26, 2009
Get the what's up now mug.A phrase coined by Terrell Owens of the Dallas Cowboys which signifies that one is about to put on a show, i.e. a spectacular performance. Refers to the act of getting one's popcorn before watching a movie.
Note posted on Terrell Owens' locker, October 2007:
"Dear Reporters,
Due to the magnitude of this week’s game and high volume of questions for the Original 81 (T.O.) about the other 81 (Randy Moss), I will be taking all questions immediately following Sunday’s game.
Sincerely,
Terrell Owens
P.S. Getcha Popcorn Ready"
Piano teacher: "Timmy, have you been practicing that Beethoven piece for the upcoming recital? This is your chance to show everyone how much your skills have improved over the past few months."
Timmy: "Hell yeah, I've been on that shit like white on rice. I'm fin' to blow all you bitches away. I'm gonna rock that shit better than Ludwig himself. Better getcha popcorn ready! King Kong ain't got shit on me!"
"Dear Reporters,
Due to the magnitude of this week’s game and high volume of questions for the Original 81 (T.O.) about the other 81 (Randy Moss), I will be taking all questions immediately following Sunday’s game.
Sincerely,
Terrell Owens
P.S. Getcha Popcorn Ready"
Piano teacher: "Timmy, have you been practicing that Beethoven piece for the upcoming recital? This is your chance to show everyone how much your skills have improved over the past few months."
Timmy: "Hell yeah, I've been on that shit like white on rice. I'm fin' to blow all you bitches away. I'm gonna rock that shit better than Ludwig himself. Better getcha popcorn ready! King Kong ain't got shit on me!"
by Nicholas D January 14, 2009
Get the getcha popcorn ready mug.1) When you tuck your shirt back into your pants after just having shat (taken a shit).
2) One of the main streets in Berkeley, CA.
2) One of the main streets in Berkeley, CA.
Buddy: "Isn't it weird how Berkeley named its main street after the act of rearranging your clothing after taking a shit?"
Guy: "Not weird at all. When you walk down the street you're guaranteed to see at least one bum pooping out in the open, so seeing a shattuck is pretty common on Shattuck Ave."
Guy: "Not weird at all. When you walk down the street you're guaranteed to see at least one bum pooping out in the open, so seeing a shattuck is pretty common on Shattuck Ave."
by Nicholas D October 14, 2019
Get the shattuck mug.