nicholas d's definitions
Zero Interest Rate Phenomenon. In the period of near-zero interest rates that lasted from roughly 2008-2021, cash was cheap and many people - especially large tech companies - were throwing away money on silly things. Those things went away in 2022 and are now known as ZIRPs.
Googler 1: “Arrrgh I can’t fix this bug! Can you call the office fluffer down here to help get my mind off this for a bit?”
Googler 2: “Sorry chief, they got rid of the fluffers in ‘22. Just like the dog spa and the corporate Segways. Those were all ZIRPs, bud. Welcome to the age of austerity.”
Googler 2: “Sorry chief, they got rid of the fluffers in ‘22. Just like the dog spa and the corporate Segways. Those were all ZIRPs, bud. Welcome to the age of austerity.”
by Nicholas D March 24, 2024
Get the ZIRPmug. An acronym for Pay Out Of Pocket. Refers to something that insurance (typically health insurance) doesn't cover.
That's a pretty sweet colostomy bag, but I'm not going to POOP for it!
Doctor: "Your rectum is blocked and we need to operate. Unfortunately your insurance doesn't cover it. You need to POOP."
Patient: "No shit I need to take a crap. Get in there and operate, dude!"
Doctor: "No, not crap. POOP."
Patient: "Same thing. Crap, poop, shit, drop a deuce, take a dump, drop off the Cleveland Browns at the Super Bowl, same thing."
Doctor: "Never mind. I'll send you the bill."
Doctor: "Your rectum is blocked and we need to operate. Unfortunately your insurance doesn't cover it. You need to POOP."
Patient: "No shit I need to take a crap. Get in there and operate, dude!"
Doctor: "No, not crap. POOP."
Patient: "Same thing. Crap, poop, shit, drop a deuce, take a dump, drop off the Cleveland Browns at the Super Bowl, same thing."
Doctor: "Never mind. I'll send you the bill."
by Nicholas D December 17, 2013
Get the POOPmug. In American football, it means that the ball broke the imaginary plane extending upward from the goal line. Signifies that a touchdown occurred.
In bed, it means that the tip of the penis entered the vagina or anus to some extent. This is typically considered the point at which sexual intercourse has occurred.
In bed, it means that the tip of the penis entered the vagina or anus to some extent. This is typically considered the point at which sexual intercourse has occurred.
Sam: "Come on, baby, let me beat it up."
Christina: "No, I'm a good girl. I don't do that kind of thing with guys unless I'm in a serious relationship."
Sam: "Just the tip, just for a minute, just to see how it feels?"
Christina: "OK, sure, but no more than that...and you can't tell anyone."
Sam: "Of course."
(inserts tip)
(10 seconds later)
Sam: "Oh, oh, OH!"
Christina: "Oh no you didn't just..."
Sam: "YES! Gotta go."
(Sam hurriedly dresses and runs outside to roommates who are playing Xbox and smoking the reefer)
Sam: "Hey guys, guess what just happened!"
Rasheed: "Did you chuck it in her?"
Sam: "Hell yeah, bro! Skeet skeet! Time to put another notch in the bedpost."
(high-fives all around)
(Christina comes out)
Christina: "Um, no you didn't. That didn't even count."
Sam: "Let's take a look at the instant replay, shall we?" (pulls out tape)
Christina: "You VIDEOTAPED it? You asshole!"
(video playing)
Rasheed: "Did he break the plane? Yes he did! Touchdown! Count the chuck!"
(high-fives all around)
Sam: "So...ready for round 2?"
Christina: "Dream on. Compared to you, a one minute man sounds like a good thing. You're never going to hit it again. Oh and all the girls in town will know about your 3-inch needle dick before long. I bet you pee on your nuts. Later, chump."
Christina: "No, I'm a good girl. I don't do that kind of thing with guys unless I'm in a serious relationship."
Sam: "Just the tip, just for a minute, just to see how it feels?"
Christina: "OK, sure, but no more than that...and you can't tell anyone."
Sam: "Of course."
(inserts tip)
(10 seconds later)
Sam: "Oh, oh, OH!"
Christina: "Oh no you didn't just..."
Sam: "YES! Gotta go."
(Sam hurriedly dresses and runs outside to roommates who are playing Xbox and smoking the reefer)
Sam: "Hey guys, guess what just happened!"
Rasheed: "Did you chuck it in her?"
Sam: "Hell yeah, bro! Skeet skeet! Time to put another notch in the bedpost."
(high-fives all around)
(Christina comes out)
Christina: "Um, no you didn't. That didn't even count."
Sam: "Let's take a look at the instant replay, shall we?" (pulls out tape)
Christina: "You VIDEOTAPED it? You asshole!"
(video playing)
Rasheed: "Did he break the plane? Yes he did! Touchdown! Count the chuck!"
(high-fives all around)
Sam: "So...ready for round 2?"
Christina: "Dream on. Compared to you, a one minute man sounds like a good thing. You're never going to hit it again. Oh and all the girls in town will know about your 3-inch needle dick before long. I bet you pee on your nuts. Later, chump."
by Nicholas D February 19, 2012
Get the break the planemug. An stronger form of beat it up. While beating it up means having intercourse with a woman, beating it uuuuup means really going at it like crazy or doing it multiple times. The more you drag out the "u" in "up," the more vigorous and/or repeated you are trying to say that the act was. Further emphasis can be added by sticking your tongue out during the "uuuuu" part.
Situation: Steve's little sister, Tammy, is a high school senior considering attending a college 500 miles from where Steve's family lives. Steve's friend from high school, Josh, is currently a junior at that college. Steve thought it would be a good idea for Josh to show Tammy around and introduce her to some people during her visit to the school.
Steve: "How did everything go with Tammy? It sounds like she had a great time."
Josh: "She sure as hell did! First I showed her around campus and introduced her to some of my friends. Then we went out to a bar and had a bunch of shots. After that I took it back to my place and I beat it up. Sorry dude."
Steve: "How could you, man? That's really disrespectful. Oh well, I'll get over it. We still on for South Padre for spring break?"
Josh: "Fo' shizzle my nizzle."
Alternatively:
Steve: "How did everything go with Tammy? It sounds like she had a great time."
Josh: "She sure as hell did! First I showed her around campus and introduced her to some of my friends. Then we went out to a bar and had a bunch of shots. After that I took it back to my place and I beat it uuuuup! Skeet skeet! Sorry dude."
Steve: "WHAAAAT!?!?!? You motherfucking son of a bitch! That's my little sister! I'm going to kill you!!!"
Steve: "How did everything go with Tammy? It sounds like she had a great time."
Josh: "She sure as hell did! First I showed her around campus and introduced her to some of my friends. Then we went out to a bar and had a bunch of shots. After that I took it back to my place and I beat it up. Sorry dude."
Steve: "How could you, man? That's really disrespectful. Oh well, I'll get over it. We still on for South Padre for spring break?"
Josh: "Fo' shizzle my nizzle."
Alternatively:
Steve: "How did everything go with Tammy? It sounds like she had a great time."
Josh: "She sure as hell did! First I showed her around campus and introduced her to some of my friends. Then we went out to a bar and had a bunch of shots. After that I took it back to my place and I beat it uuuuup! Skeet skeet! Sorry dude."
Steve: "WHAAAAT!?!?!? You motherfucking son of a bitch! That's my little sister! I'm going to kill you!!!"
by Nicholas D March 10, 2010
Get the beat it uuuuupmug. A simple drinking game that simply involves a smooth table surface (usually 6-9 ft long), 2 or 4 players, several cans of beer (as many as you want to drink), and a floor you don't care about getting beer all over. NOTE: The table should be watered down for optimum can-sliding.
The rules:
1) Players alternate sliding full beer cans back and forth across the table.
2) 3 possible outcomes occur:
a. The beer can falls short. Nothing happens.
b. The beer can falls over the edge. The other player must CATCH IT (this takes minimal coordination, but you'd be surprised how clumsy some people are). If you don't catch it, someone will probably have beer explode in his/her face later.
c. The beer can hangs over the edge. That is, if you get under the edge and can see can bottom, it counts. In this case, the other player must DRINK IT. All of it. Then get a new beer can to play with.
NOTE: The drinking player must open the can no more than one foot from his/her face. If the can has been dropped, the explosion can get ugly.
3) The other player/team gets a chance to slide the beer can across the table.
This is a fast-moving game. Generally the can is slid every 5 seconds or so. You also consume a good amount of beer in not much time, so 30 mins or so of this game makes for a great pre-party activity. If 4 players play you can slide either one or two cans at a time. An expert variation is to play with bottles...just make sure you have a soft floor in this case.
The rules:
1) Players alternate sliding full beer cans back and forth across the table.
2) 3 possible outcomes occur:
a. The beer can falls short. Nothing happens.
b. The beer can falls over the edge. The other player must CATCH IT (this takes minimal coordination, but you'd be surprised how clumsy some people are). If you don't catch it, someone will probably have beer explode in his/her face later.
c. The beer can hangs over the edge. That is, if you get under the edge and can see can bottom, it counts. In this case, the other player must DRINK IT. All of it. Then get a new beer can to play with.
NOTE: The drinking player must open the can no more than one foot from his/her face. If the can has been dropped, the explosion can get ugly.
3) The other player/team gets a chance to slide the beer can across the table.
This is a fast-moving game. Generally the can is slid every 5 seconds or so. You also consume a good amount of beer in not much time, so 30 mins or so of this game makes for a great pre-party activity. If 4 players play you can slide either one or two cans at a time. An expert variation is to play with bottles...just make sure you have a soft floor in this case.
Ebenezer was a beirut champion in college back in the 1940's. Now he's lost his shooting touch, but his shufflebeer skills have made him the talk of the retirement home and have had Mildred, Ethel, and Agatha wanting to get all up in his Depends.
by Nicholas D January 31, 2007
Get the shufflebeermug. A catch phrase popularized by the video "My New Haircut." Said when someone is on a roll or in a state of extreme focus and does not wish to be interrupted by someone that he/she deems unimportant and irrelevant.
From "My New Haircut":
Guy at desk: "Sir, you have to sign in."
Guido: "Not now chief, I'm in the fucking zone."
Kindergarten Teacher: "Who wants to read the next couple pages of 'The Cat in the Hat?'. Let's see...Jimmy, how about you?"
Jimmy: "Not now chief, I'm in the fucking zone."
Guy at desk: "Sir, you have to sign in."
Guido: "Not now chief, I'm in the fucking zone."
Kindergarten Teacher: "Who wants to read the next couple pages of 'The Cat in the Hat?'. Let's see...Jimmy, how about you?"
Jimmy: "Not now chief, I'm in the fucking zone."
by Nicholas D January 20, 2008
Get the not now chief, I'm in the fucking zonemug. A person, usually a heterosexual female, who pursues relationships or hookups with the founders of tech startups. Like a jersey chaser for nerds. This term was used in the "Bachmanity Insanity" episode of "Silicon Valley."
Clive: "Hey Otto, how's the organic sustainable single-origin artisanal small batch cold brew nitro coffee roasting gig going?"
Otto: "Not great, man. It turns out that our proprietary method of using only high altitude Jamaican Blue Mountain beans filtered through the digestive tract of a civet cat is pretty expensive. So we set our price at $10 a cup, which barely covers our costs, but it's been hard to compete with these low-end stores like Four Barrel and Ritual that sell coffee for only $7, and the peasants here in SF actually drink that swill instead of ours. We went out of business."
Clive: "Oh well, at least you have Matilda. She's your ride-or-die-bitch, right?"
Otto: "Um, not really. She ditched me for this douchebag who is Co-Founder and CEO of this stupid app called Pewply."
Clive: "You mean the app where you take a picture of your feces and it gives you dietary recommendations based on their machine learning big data algorithms? Dude, Pewply is awesome. It totally helped me better come to grips with my gluten allergy."
Otto: "Yeah I'm sensitive to gluten too. But I can't believe she left me for this chode just because of his piece of crap - no pun intended - startup!"
Clive: "Connect the dots, man. Before you, she hooked up with the founders of Markitable, Zenalytics, Flooberli, Sharepnp, and Majikly. She's a classic founder hounder!"
Otto: "Not great, man. It turns out that our proprietary method of using only high altitude Jamaican Blue Mountain beans filtered through the digestive tract of a civet cat is pretty expensive. So we set our price at $10 a cup, which barely covers our costs, but it's been hard to compete with these low-end stores like Four Barrel and Ritual that sell coffee for only $7, and the peasants here in SF actually drink that swill instead of ours. We went out of business."
Clive: "Oh well, at least you have Matilda. She's your ride-or-die-bitch, right?"
Otto: "Um, not really. She ditched me for this douchebag who is Co-Founder and CEO of this stupid app called Pewply."
Clive: "You mean the app where you take a picture of your feces and it gives you dietary recommendations based on their machine learning big data algorithms? Dude, Pewply is awesome. It totally helped me better come to grips with my gluten allergy."
Otto: "Yeah I'm sensitive to gluten too. But I can't believe she left me for this chode just because of his piece of crap - no pun intended - startup!"
Clive: "Connect the dots, man. Before you, she hooked up with the founders of Markitable, Zenalytics, Flooberli, Sharepnp, and Majikly. She's a classic founder hounder!"
by Nicholas D May 31, 2016
Get the founder houndermug.