An Apple product that is part human, part centipede, part web browser, and part e-mailing device. Unveiled by Steve Jobs on "South Park" Season 15 Episode 1. Usually made of people who don't read the terms and conditions on iTunes.
Bro: "What's up, Dogg?"
Dogg: "Not too much, Bro. Where's Guy?"
Bro: "Ah, he caught a bad break. He didn't read the terms and conditions when he downloaded Justin Bieber's latest song off iTunes and accidentally agreed to be part of a Human CentiPad."
Dogg: "Ouch, that's a tough break. I've got to say though, he sort of deserves it for listening to The Bieb. That guy blows something awful."
Bro: "Yeah, totally, what a chode."
Dogg: "Not too much, Bro. Where's Guy?"
Bro: "Ah, he caught a bad break. He didn't read the terms and conditions when he downloaded Justin Bieber's latest song off iTunes and accidentally agreed to be part of a Human CentiPad."
Dogg: "Ouch, that's a tough break. I've got to say though, he sort of deserves it for listening to The Bieb. That guy blows something awful."
Bro: "Yeah, totally, what a chode."
by Nicholas D April 29, 2011
The Uzbekistani horse dancer fractured his pelvis in an accident during the limpies, and since then he's had a major case of the limpies.
by Nicholas D July 30, 2021
The path of moral integrity; following the rules. People who follow the straight and narrow typically abstain from activities such as hustlin, pimpin, and some gangsta shit.
Mobb Deep: "What's up fool? What you been doing?"
Todd: "You know, helping out at retirement homes, building houses for Habitat for Humanity, coaching a peewee soccer team, stuff like that."
Mobb Deep: "All right playa. Good to hear. How you raking in the paper doing all that volunteer work?"
Todd: "Funny you should mention it. I actually dabble in pimpin hos on the side. I run a rather successful operation consisting of 4 or 5 bitches. We turned a substantial profit last quarter. Unfortunately I had to pop a cap in a few bitch niggas who didn't pay up."
Mobb Deep: "Man that's some bullshit, you hypocrite. Either you're in the game or you stick the straight and narrow. There ain't no such thing as halfway crooks."
"This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh
Just another case about the wrong path
Straight and narrow or your soul gets cast
Good night!"
-Slick Rick, "Children's Story"
Todd: "You know, helping out at retirement homes, building houses for Habitat for Humanity, coaching a peewee soccer team, stuff like that."
Mobb Deep: "All right playa. Good to hear. How you raking in the paper doing all that volunteer work?"
Todd: "Funny you should mention it. I actually dabble in pimpin hos on the side. I run a rather successful operation consisting of 4 or 5 bitches. We turned a substantial profit last quarter. Unfortunately I had to pop a cap in a few bitch niggas who didn't pay up."
Mobb Deep: "Man that's some bullshit, you hypocrite. Either you're in the game or you stick the straight and narrow. There ain't no such thing as halfway crooks."
"This ain't funny so don't you dare laugh
Just another case about the wrong path
Straight and narrow or your soul gets cast
Good night!"
-Slick Rick, "Children's Story"
by Nicholas D October 31, 2009
A neighborhood in San Francisco bounded roughly by Dolores St. on the east, Diamond Heights Blvd./Market St. on the west, 21st St. on the north, and 30th St. on the south. Lots of shops and restaurants, but not a big nightlife spot since everyone - OK, maybe not everyone, just about 98% of people - have a couple of young kids and a dog. A very yuppie place where people from the Marina neighborhood move to settle down, usually moving on to Marin County when their kids start school. When in Noe Valley, be sure to watch out for the legions of double-wide strollers that will run you over if you're not careful. Pretty much the polar opposite of The Brook in Harrisburg, PA.
Brad: "Well, we're finally moving into our new place in SF! I can't say I love Noe Valley, but at least we're close to some good bars and stuff. I'm at least glad we're still pretty young and not like those boring old yuppies with two kids and a dog."
Jen: "I know, this is great! Here, try this organic, sustainable white truffle sheep's milk barrel aged frozen yogurt."
Brad: "Where'd you get that?"
Jen: "At the farmer's market."
Brad: "Since when do you go to those?"
Jen: "Oh, I just stopped by after my yoga class this morning."
Brad: "Yoga?"
Jen: "Yeah, I just signed up. The fro-yo is yummy, but I wish it were vegan."
Brad: "Ew, vegan, really?"
Jen: "Yeah, we should probably stop eating animal products. Or at least make sure each animal gets at least 100 square feet, eats food prepared by a well-trained chef, and has a personal masseuse."
Brad: "What? Where did this come from? Who are you?"
Jen: "I'm pregnant."
Brad: "Pfft! Seriously?"
Jen: "It's twins. A boy and a girl. I'm thinking we should name them Bentley and Addison."
Brad: "You're kidding, right? Those are names?"
Jen: "Here, check out this stroller site. This double-wide is made by a small local artisan and is only $600."
Brad: "SIX HUNDRED?"
Dog: "Woof!"
Brad: "WTF?"
Jen: "Oh, this is Mr. Woofingtons, the Welsh corgi I just adopted."
Brad: "Mr. Woofingtons?"
Jen: "So, yeah, I'm so excited to live here too! I love this neighborhood!"
Brad: "WHY, NOE VALLEY, WHY???"
Jen: "I know, this is great! Here, try this organic, sustainable white truffle sheep's milk barrel aged frozen yogurt."
Brad: "Where'd you get that?"
Jen: "At the farmer's market."
Brad: "Since when do you go to those?"
Jen: "Oh, I just stopped by after my yoga class this morning."
Brad: "Yoga?"
Jen: "Yeah, I just signed up. The fro-yo is yummy, but I wish it were vegan."
Brad: "Ew, vegan, really?"
Jen: "Yeah, we should probably stop eating animal products. Or at least make sure each animal gets at least 100 square feet, eats food prepared by a well-trained chef, and has a personal masseuse."
Brad: "What? Where did this come from? Who are you?"
Jen: "I'm pregnant."
Brad: "Pfft! Seriously?"
Jen: "It's twins. A boy and a girl. I'm thinking we should name them Bentley and Addison."
Brad: "You're kidding, right? Those are names?"
Jen: "Here, check out this stroller site. This double-wide is made by a small local artisan and is only $600."
Brad: "SIX HUNDRED?"
Dog: "Woof!"
Brad: "WTF?"
Jen: "Oh, this is Mr. Woofingtons, the Welsh corgi I just adopted."
Brad: "Mr. Woofingtons?"
Jen: "So, yeah, I'm so excited to live here too! I love this neighborhood!"
Brad: "WHY, NOE VALLEY, WHY???"
by Nicholas D July 28, 2012
A pejorative term used by residents of either coast to refer to all US states that do not border an ocean, particularly those in the Midwest.
Person 1: "Where are you from?"
Person 2: "Chicago.
Person 1: "Where the hell is that? Is it a foreign country like Africa or something?"
Person 2: "No, it's in the US."
Person 1: "What state? Probably some lame state like East Dakota or Toronto or Mt. Rushmore."
Person 2: "Illinois actually."
Person 1: "AHAHAHAHAHA LOOOOOOSER! It must suck ass living in the flyover states! Picking corn and milking cows and going to pig shows and shit. Your life sounds terrible."
Person 2: "Yeah...where are you from?"
Person 1: "Stockton, beeotch. Eat that."
Person 2: "Where is that?"
Person 1: "Um, hello, California, duh."
Person 2: "Oh that place. I remember seeing it in a Most Depressing Cities in the US article. Must be awesome sitting in front of your foreclosed mobile home watching Teen Mom reruns on an old black and white TV, wishing you'd catch a break and get cast in the next season, all while trying not to get shot."
Person 1: "Yeah, it is awesome."
Person 2: "Chicago.
Person 1: "Where the hell is that? Is it a foreign country like Africa or something?"
Person 2: "No, it's in the US."
Person 1: "What state? Probably some lame state like East Dakota or Toronto or Mt. Rushmore."
Person 2: "Illinois actually."
Person 1: "AHAHAHAHAHA LOOOOOOSER! It must suck ass living in the flyover states! Picking corn and milking cows and going to pig shows and shit. Your life sounds terrible."
Person 2: "Yeah...where are you from?"
Person 1: "Stockton, beeotch. Eat that."
Person 2: "Where is that?"
Person 1: "Um, hello, California, duh."
Person 2: "Oh that place. I remember seeing it in a Most Depressing Cities in the US article. Must be awesome sitting in front of your foreclosed mobile home watching Teen Mom reruns on an old black and white TV, wishing you'd catch a break and get cast in the next season, all while trying not to get shot."
Person 1: "Yeah, it is awesome."
by Nicholas D January 19, 2012
A trashy, slutty woman who hangs out at country bars and has no qualms about random hookups, even with married men. Can be relied upon any night for an easy chuck with no strings attached.
Brad: "Sup dude. You look haggard today."
Sam: "Yeah man, I just came back from Amber's place. Linda broke up with me yesterday and I went to the bar and had a few shots, and you know how that ends up. Spoiler alert: I banged her."
Brad: "A little honky tonk special action, huh? Talk about haggard! She's more haggard than Merle. And she's been around the block more times than the mailman. You might want to go to the doctor and get checked out."
Sam: "You can say that again. It itches."
"Sure enough about closing time, I'm about stoned out of my mind, and I end up with some honky-tonk special I found
Just as sure as the morning sun come, thinking of my sweet girl at home, and I need to get whiskey bent and hell bound."
-Hank Williams, Jr., "Whiskey Bent and Hellbound"
"Honky tonk special, you're not my daddy's wife."
-Marty Brown, "Honky Tonk Special"
Sam: "Yeah man, I just came back from Amber's place. Linda broke up with me yesterday and I went to the bar and had a few shots, and you know how that ends up. Spoiler alert: I banged her."
Brad: "A little honky tonk special action, huh? Talk about haggard! She's more haggard than Merle. And she's been around the block more times than the mailman. You might want to go to the doctor and get checked out."
Sam: "You can say that again. It itches."
"Sure enough about closing time, I'm about stoned out of my mind, and I end up with some honky-tonk special I found
Just as sure as the morning sun come, thinking of my sweet girl at home, and I need to get whiskey bent and hell bound."
-Hank Williams, Jr., "Whiskey Bent and Hellbound"
"Honky tonk special, you're not my daddy's wife."
-Marty Brown, "Honky Tonk Special"
by Nicholas D September 07, 2013
A polictically-correct way to say the word "retarded," a la the Black Eyed Peas song "Let's Get It Started."
Tom: Oh man, Jim, I was heading to school today and I saw a BUNCH of retarded kids walking to their special school.
Teacher: Thomas Joseph Wilkins! You know not to use such language in the classroom!
Tom: Sorry, Mrs. Peterson. What happened was I saw a bunch of it started kids on the way to school. They were so it started that I went up and stole a bunch of money from each of them and they didn't even notice, and then I pushed one of them over, laughed at him, and yelled "get out of the way, it start!"
Teacher: That's much better Thomas.
Teacher: Thomas Joseph Wilkins! You know not to use such language in the classroom!
Tom: Sorry, Mrs. Peterson. What happened was I saw a bunch of it started kids on the way to school. They were so it started that I went up and stole a bunch of money from each of them and they didn't even notice, and then I pushed one of them over, laughed at him, and yelled "get out of the way, it start!"
Teacher: That's much better Thomas.
by Nicholas D October 20, 2005