(phone vibrates)
Wolf: “Oh, no. No, no, no.”
Judy: “Oh, no. What?”
Wolf: “There's a new post to Mom's blog. Oh, God. Mom's on a flight. And she's already three plane-aritas deep.”
Beef: “Do you feel that, children? The way the wind has stilled in the pines, and the caribou no longer utters its lonely howl? She is set upon us.”
Wolf: “Oh, no. No, no, no.”
Judy: “Oh, no. What?”
Wolf: “There's a new post to Mom's blog. Oh, God. Mom's on a flight. And she's already three plane-aritas deep.”
Beef: “Do you feel that, children? The way the wind has stilled in the pines, and the caribou no longer utters its lonely howl? She is set upon us.”
by natalie portmanteaux September 23, 2024
Get the plane-arita mug.Cyril: “So, did anyone else know that Robert had a Swiss jazz label?”
Pam: “Or that Swiss jazz was a subgenre called Swe-bop?”
Archer: “I mean, it figures. Switzerland is like the jazz of countries. It just keeps going and going and no one has any idea why.”
Pam: “Or that Swiss jazz was a subgenre called Swe-bop?”
Archer: “I mean, it figures. Switzerland is like the jazz of countries. It just keeps going and going and no one has any idea why.”
by natalie portmanteaux September 29, 2023
Get the Swe-bop mug.A portmanteau of tactical and turtleneck. Coined by Stirling Archer in the tv show Archer.
A dark black turtleneck used tactically to provide maximum skin coverage for blending in at night.
A dark black turtleneck used tactically to provide maximum skin coverage for blending in at night.
"I mean, I didn't invent the turtleneck, Lana, but I was the first to recognize its potential as a tactical garment. The tactical turtleneck, Lana. The tactleneck!" ~ H. Jon Benjamin as Archer
by natalie portmanteaux May 13, 2021
Get the tactleneck mug.Linda: "Tina, you're missing breakfast. Your frozen waffles are gonna refreeze."
Louise: "Mine is somehow burnt and frozen? It defies science."
Gene: "I love Mom's waffsicles."
Tina: "I'll have to take my waffsicles to go. Dad and I have a meeting. Right, Dad?"
Louise: "Mine is somehow burnt and frozen? It defies science."
Gene: "I love Mom's waffsicles."
Tina: "I'll have to take my waffsicles to go. Dad and I have a meeting. Right, Dad?"
by natalie portmanteaux November 13, 2023
Get the waffsicle mug.Diane: "Sextina, hi. Thanks for meeting me here. I'm really excited to be working with you."
Sextina: "Listen, chitch, if you're going to tweet for Sextina Aquafina, you need to capture the essence of my personal brand, m'kay? All upper caps, no punctuation, lots of cryptic bullshit about the Illuminati, and make sure to mention my preferred brands, okay?"
Sextina: "Listen, chitch, if you're going to tweet for Sextina Aquafina, you need to capture the essence of my personal brand, m'kay? All upper caps, no punctuation, lots of cryptic bullshit about the Illuminati, and make sure to mention my preferred brands, okay?"
by natalie portmanteaux June 13, 2021
Get the chitch mug.Mr. Garrison: "Yeah, I tell you, boys, women can kill. Poontang's expensive. That's why when it comes to chicks, I just screw 'em and leave 'em. I say, ‘Get out of my bedroom, poontank, before you suck my life dry.’"
by natalie portmanteaux June 19, 2021
Get the poontank mug.Mr. PB: "I'd feel awful if this great idea fell apart because we got distracted by something else, as we are often wont to do."
Todd: "Wait did you say feel awful or falafel?"
Mr. PB: "I said, ‘Feel awful,’ but tell me more about this falafel idea."
Todd: "Falafel or fawaffle?"
Mr. PB: "What!"
Todd: "Wait did you say feel awful or falafel?"
Mr. PB: "I said, ‘Feel awful,’ but tell me more about this falafel idea."
Todd: "Falafel or fawaffle?"
Mr. PB: "What!"
by natalie portmanteaux June 14, 2021
Get the fawaffle mug.