mike oxhard's definitions

tie

1. a garment worn around the neck helpful in identifying workers who have been rendered eunuchs by their employers and/or someone who thinks looking important is more important than being comfortable enough to do actual work.

2. also helps dominatrixes identify potential clients who are passives.

(Origin: when slave-catchers would tie a rope around a slave's neck. Also, symbolizes iron collar and chain used to restrain slaves).

That poor dickless fuck has to wear a tie to work.

by Mike Oxhard July 13, 2006

cork

what you must insert to keep the hamster from escaping your ass.

He's in, now cork it before he gets out!

by Mike Oxhard July 13, 2006

back boob

a fatty deposit on the back that hangs in such a way that it resembles a nippleless breast. May sometimes result from a bra that is too tight, causing temporary back boobs. Mostly seen on very fat women or men with manboobs.

"He's got a sick fetish--he goes to the nude beach just to look at back boobs."

by Mike Oxhard September 30, 2006

cubotomy

the destruction of portions of the brain by working in a cubicle.

For males, wearing a tie accelerates the process by cutting off oxygen to the brain.

Libido is also excised.

"He was such a fun guy in college--then he got a cubotomy."

by Mike Oxhard September 30, 2006

Cat Scan

When you grab the inside of a females thigh and can feel her heartbeat.

Connor told me he gave Michelle a Cat Scan

by mike oxhard December 23, 2020