ground hog dump

a bowel movement that is so large and impacted that you can squeeze out a portion, but can't pinch it off, so it goes back in.

After that ground hog dump, I need some laxatives.

by Mike Oxhard July 11, 2006

Cat Scan

When you grab the inside of a females thigh and can feel her heartbeat.

Connor told me he gave Michelle a Cat Scan

by mike oxhard December 23, 2020

whigger

1) a caucasian who doubts his own toughness, so thinks he can fool people into fearing and respecting him by acting black. Ironically, the effect is the opposite. No one is afraid of a whigger not even a smaller whigger.

2) an embarrassingly bad white rapper, generally not applied to the very few talented white rappers like Eminem.

1) Whenever someone hassles him he does his whigger routine because he thinks it will scare them.

2) Vanilla Ice is a whigger.

by Mike Oxhard July 10, 2006

tie

1. a garment worn around the neck helpful in identifying workers who have been rendered eunuchs by their employers and/or someone who thinks looking important is more important than being comfortable enough to do actual work.

2. also helps dominatrixes identify potential clients who are passives.

(Origin: when slave-catchers would tie a rope around a slave's neck. Also, symbolizes iron collar and chain used to restrain slaves).

That poor dickless fuck has to wear a tie to work.

by Mike Oxhard July 13, 2006

near queer

Not quite openly gay or consciously aware of being gay.

He said he's not gay, but he's sure as hell near queer.

by Mike Oxhard July 11, 2006

cottage cheese diet

1. the habit of only having sex with women so obese they have severe cellulite (origin: the cottage cheese appearance of cellulite.

2. anything a woman who has severe cellulite eats .

1. She's too skinny for him, he's on a cottage cheese diet.

2. Damn, women on a cottage cheese diet shouldn't wear bikinis!

by Mike Oxhard July 12, 2006

cubotomy

the destruction of portions of the brain by working in a cubicle.

For males, wearing a tie accelerates the process by cutting off oxygen to the brain.

Libido is also excised.

"He was such a fun guy in college--then he got a cubotomy."

by Mike Oxhard September 30, 2006