Catch 29

Like a Catch 22 but worse.
I'm in a Catch 29 situation.

You mean a Catch 22?

No, it's worse than that.
by MichaelToTheJ March 11, 2011
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A phrase used when somebody is abusing something that they own/have access to. Usually something that they have paid good money for.
Guy 1: "My laptop isn't working again."

Guy 2: "Stop filling it with crap, then. You wouldn't buy a hooker just to kick her, would you."
by MichaelToTheJ March 15, 2011
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Tell him where to go

Euphemism. If you tell somebody where to go, you basically tell them to fuck off.
Person 1: That guy won't stop yelling at me. He really annoys me,

Person 2: Tell him where to go, then.



Person 1: You can't barter with these people. If you ask for a lower price, they'll tell you where to go.
by MichaelToTheJ July 10, 2008
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Ronnie Barker

Ronnie Barker was THE legend of comedy. Loads funnier than all of this American "comedy". I.e: Friends. (the only funny bit in the entire history of that programme is when Chandler walks into the spa naked and says: "So, I guess we wear swimsuits in here") Ronnie Barker is famous for the TV series' Porridge, Open All Hours ands The Two Ronnies Show. (You can watch some by typing Ronnie Barker into youtube) Even though he died last year, he died a legend.
Customer: Fork Handles

Shopkeeper: Fork Handles? (hands customer four candles)

Customer: No, fork handles. Handles for forks.

Ronnie Barker = Shopkeeper
by MichaelToTheJ April 26, 2007
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half moon kiss

When your girlfriend (or boyfriend if you swing that way) stops mid way through giving you a blowjob to kiss you on the lips.

A full moon kiss would be when they kiss you on the lips, after they have given the blowjob.

The former is arguably preferable.
Guy 1: "Dude, Alice is so good at giving head. She even stopped half way through and gave me a half moon kiss!"

Guy 2: "Nice!"
by MichaelToTheJ September 26, 2012
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skivise

Skivise (verb); A combination of the words 'skive' (to skip school or work/play truant) and 'revise' (to study for an exam) - to skivise is to skip school or work, in order to revise/study, usually for an important exam.
1.
Boy 1: Is Alex here today?

Boy 2: No, she's skivising, she's got her exams next week.

2.
I have an exam next week, but no free time to study for it - I'll skivise.
by MichaelToTheJ May 16, 2007
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gig high

The awesome feeling you get after attending a great gig (live show).

Symptoms include:

.Infallible belief that you rule
.Willingness to fight anyone who believes otherwise (if having just left a metal gig)
.Inability to stop smiling/dancing
.Feeling that all is right with the world

A gig high usually lasts for a couple of days before it fades away and you go back to feeling normal again.
Guy: "Damn, I am on a huge gig high from that Enter Shikari gig last night. I'm still raving several hours later! Man, am I awesome! Everything is awesome right now!"
by MichaelToTheJ October 15, 2011
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