michael foolsley's definitions

sex surrogate gift

gee whiz! -another fucking birthday (christmas), and you're still having to get off alone!! how sad! i'm (santas') going to bring you a nice sex surrogate gift this year. you can rest back and 'watch the stars', while the surrogate does all the 'work'!!

you couldn't 'score' with michael foolsley 'cause you were three hundred pounds!!?? -no problem!!...in this box is a phone number...call the number, and order up YOUR type of sex surrogate!!

judy got the sex surrogate gift this year!! -after she got off, she was all smiles!

i'm hoping somebody gives me the sex surrogate gift this year!!!

by michael foolsley December 28, 2009

chaw clit

CHOCOLATE -an oral 'treat'; as is cunnilingus! though 'CHAW' clit suggests roughness, it remains oral based! one doesn't necessarily 'chaw' (or chew) a clitoris, the wise person utilizes more of a tongue-caress.

upon experiencing the explosive results of this, the question of 'goodness' and/or validity of a 'ramming penis' seems desirable to the male only! -the emphasis of the tongue as regards to lesbians, should provide a masters degree education for the male.

AS a male, 'ramming to oblivion' DOES carry a bit of 'charm' but, as a would-be "gentleman", i like to 'mix-it-up'!!! -besides NOBODY deserves to go home unhappy!!

-NOW, time 4 some CHAW CLIT!!

he ate a piece of chaw clit while dreaming of lapping clit!

this chaw clits' almost as good as realclit!!

me like to lick you like chaw clit (subliminal message! and/or pickup line!)

by michael foolsley February 1, 2010

edibility

degree of measurement by which a human (and their sex parts!!) becomes a 'FOOD ITEM'!!

i.e. pure ORAL FIXATION!!, SWEET ENOUGH TO EAT!!

shes'/hes' got a high degree of edibility!! one doesn't make a 'mess' in/on that; one EATS THAT!!

she wanted a dosage of my 'hot sauce', but had such a high degree of edibility; i could only think FOOD!!

by michael foolsley September 3, 2011

close encounter of the third kind

an experience with a human that is so bizarre one might as well be dealing with an alien.

when i was dealing with those liberals, it was a definite close encounter of the third kind...

by michael foolsley November 23, 2009

wearing it

get fat -booting (eating) lots of high fat foods and imaging them turning straight to fat and taking up shop ('residence') on and around ones' body parts.

that coconut cream pie is better than sex!, but i'm going to end up wearing it!

i love me some pie! (pizza) but i'll just end up wearing it!!

by michael foolsley December 5, 2009

beat the crack

arising well BEFORE dawn!!

NOT a sado-masochistic term alluding to abuse of 'prime parts'
but a reference to being 'awake and vertical' LONG BEFORE the first glint of light appears at the horizon!!

i had to beat the crack to do electrical work, which resulted in me "sleeping in" till 6:30A on week-ends!!

had to beat the crack to catch that flight!!

beating the crack is kind of a criminal situation!!

by michael foolsley September 7, 2011

pussy washer

a bidet !

pussy washer was heard stated by a "mentally challenged" individual at a construction site

in france, provision is made for cleansing body parts (buttle) via bidet, or pussy washer !
in 'merca, WE wouldn't be caught DEAD 'cleaning up' on a pussy washer !
lesser "deforestation" using a pussy washer, than MILES of "bowel towel" !!

by michael foolsley April 29, 2021