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michael foolsley's definitions

nail barb

a nail that splits or separates, catching on anything/everything ESPECIALLY POLYESTER!! if you aren't close to a nail clipper, this 'barb' will torture you for all eternity until you can 'chaw' it off; or find some kind of tool that will 'fix' it up!
me gonna sucker-punch this nail barb!!

this nail barb is about pissing me off!

this nail barb caught-on and ripped a hole in my vag-hair sweater!
by michael foolsley February 1, 2010
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elder jail

the place the elder male ('grandpapa', "pop-pop", e.t.c.)
dwells, upon observing a much younger female with the 'goods'; and being 'hitched up' (or not!) to an "expired shelf life" female, that no longer has ANY interest in sex!!

being 'penalized' by the inability to 'attract' above described human due to age!, and/or 'chronological erosion'.

-an 'imaginary wall', barrier, or 'cage' (but quite REAL!!) preventing "pop-pop" from touching the 'goods'!!; (oil and water being unable to MIX!!)

-one or more generations of cultural difference, AND age, making communication somewhat 'foreign' or 'alien'. -physical attraction in the 'old', rendered non-existent due to chronological etching away of physical attributes!!
john's grampa was about oozing all over beth!! (reponse:) yeah!!, it must be rough burning in elder jail!!

grandpa joe went home and 'ground the poison' out of himself, char-broiling in elder jail; after his visit to the 'titty bar'.

joe worked out incessantly, becoming quite muscular, but still couldn't stop the clock condemning him to elder jail!!
by michael foolsley July 26, 2012
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lethargist

when in rehab, my buddy was asked what religion he was...-i'm a lethargist, said he!!
by michael foolsley December 16, 2009
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bang that ass

a delicately sensitive description of the sex act!
at that particular moment john's entire world revolved around his plan to bang that ass...!

that butt is excruciatingly perky! my plan is to bang that ass!

hey diddle diddle, its' all pink in the middle, i'm going to bang that ass!
by michael foolsley December 31, 2009
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jizz witch

rare woman who has a fascination with sperm and ejaculation of same. her face lights up with glee upon sight of sperm escaping from the male 'gun'
that jizz witch marie was disappointed when my spermometer read 'empty'

that jizz witch was shaking my freshly discharged crank like a baby shaking a rattle!
by michael foolsley January 29, 2010
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god of sex

the imaginary god who grants you a 'taste' at his/her/its' leisure. -what remains in the background chuckling to itself whether you 'strike big' or not. if you are/were a good little 'person' perhaps the god of sex will grant YOU a 'taste'!!
.
jen, i saw you with muscles mcfoolsley last night? did you get a treatment...-yes, thanks to the god of sex!!!

the god of sex greenlit me with rosanna last night, i almost 'tacked out on that!!!!
by michael foolsley November 30, 2009
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jersey the toilet

a one finger salute from a marylander who spent five years living in new jersey. nothing (and/or no one) takes more undeserved abuse than new jersey!! -i found many, many, beautiful places and great people!, -very few guidos!! folks were largely really nice to me!! -let me cordially invite those who think jersey is a shit-hole, to go have sex with themselves!!
rolled down RT95 and saw a shit-pit, jersey the toilet!

lets' cut a flop on jersey, yeah! jersey the toilet!

very few things piss me off like people ragging on new

jersey...yeah!, we'll FUCK YOU! jersey the toilet!!
by michael foolsley December 10, 2009
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