12 definition by mammarylane

Top Definition
A male receiving genital stimulation whilst simultaneously taking a shit. A white out and a brown out at the same time. Perfect.
We were very poor growing up on the farm. My half-sister Stephanie was sadly a simpleton but she gave the most beautiful blumpkins and I loved her for it. I say loved because in the fall of 1987 she was found mutilated in the back of a green Chevy van. That's actually not true as I never lived in the country and am an only child but it's still a beautiful image as I'm sure you'll agree. Someone from Arkansas will fap to this definition.
by mammarylane December 18, 2015

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The act of slurping large amounts of male jizz from shot glasses while a room full of naked masked men continue with the refills.
Susan surveyed the scene. Her mother had told her to get out and meet men and stop being such a wallflower. She couldn't help feeling though that she had more than likely taken a wrong turn someplace as this wasn't what she hoped her life would be like. Still she would get her protein intake through all this cum chugging for the next decade so who's complaining?
by mammarylane December 18, 2015

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An angry response to your woman ie flicking her nipples very hard with your nails and occasionally twisting them out of spite when she's telling you off for simply being a man.
"Carol's walked out AGAIN!"
"Uh-oh, what happened dude?"
"She was berating me because I had spent the last 26 hours fapping to bikini images and getting loads of manjuice on the carpet and the whole place smelling like a sperm bank. I soon put her in her place by walking up to her (after I had pulled up my pants) and giving her tits a damn good flick."
"What did she say to that?"
"Nothing. She simply asked in her quiet voice what she had done to deserve such a waster husband as me and that she didn't want to be on the receiving end of such a callous and hurtful tit flick."
"And what did you do upon hearing that?"
"I pulled down my pants and showed her what she had done. In my hurry to finish up I had got loads of little bits of toilet tissue stuck on the head of my cock. Perspective is what was needed then."
by mammarylane December 18, 2015

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The name given to a Christian who attends church on a Sunday and pretends to be nice and kind yet outside of the building and for every other day of the week is simply a nasty bastard who doesn't give a damn about anyone or anything. Normally hangs around in cliques and is very critical, condescending and judgemental.
Things a typical Sunday Christian say.

"Jean, there's a man outside the church who needs something to eat. He looks very cold and hungry."
"Enough of your nonsense, I've done my Christian duty for today and besides I need to get home as there's a TV show I want to watch."
"That's not very charitable. Look, there's a tin of tuna on the side and a loaf of bread. I think we can extend some Christian love to this gentleman."
"You listen here. Don't you get on the wrong side of me or I shall write a scathing letter to the church elders about what I see as your impertinence. Now, don't you cross me. Just usher him away and let's get out of here. I've got better things to be doing with my time than spending time with low-lifes like him."
"Yes Jean."
by mammarylane September 17, 2017

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A herb you put on poultry after it's been fisted.
Clary sage is the perfect compliment to a fresh Hampstead chicken.
by mammarylane December 18, 2015

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The term given to the panel of adjudicators who realise that your entry is just too damn disgusting, perverted and depraved to ever be allowed onto the Urban Dictionary site and instead you have to be content with an email alerting you to the fact that it won't be accepted and you simply have to scroll back and forth wondering what it would have looked like on the site possibly being enjoyed by many different people all over the world rather than just your eyes alone in your bedroom. You try not to take the rejection personally, however, it just east you up inside and so you decide to heavily edit your submission and try again. Eventually, it gets accepted but it's lost its bite due to the nature of the many edits made to it. You realise that you are just a sad old bastard with too much time on your hands so you go and fap before falling asleep in your own sweat and semen in your parent's basement.
"Hi Larry, did your Urban Dictionary term get accepted for the site?"
"No Douglas, it didn't get past the Urban Dictionary peer review process."
"Never mind. Please don't try to be too sad about it."
"I need to cry now. Please take my dress off and leave and maybe come back later okay?"
"Sure thing dude although it does look good on me."
by mammarylane September 17, 2017

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The way your anus ends up looking after you have spent any length of time in the bathhouses in the Castro.
Quinby had only recently come out and told his family that he was gay. He had met some very supportive people at the local LGBT center including a very obese lesbian named Cathy. She had encouraged him to get his ass stretched down one of the many bathhouses down in the Castro. He had taken her up on this advice and soon trotted down there, lube in hand, rubbers in the other and before long he was getting taken left, right and center and having a great time of it. He loved being gay. He didn't care about the rainbows or the pride events or even the fact he was now eligible to wear fluffy boots with his white denims and shiny t-shirts. It was all about cock and taking as many as possible. He felt different back there in no time at all. He loved feeling all puckered and loose and was sure that his balloon knot would now be prized by the many leather men in the city who would love to bend him over and give his ass a damn fine walloping.
via giphy
by mammarylane September 17, 2017

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