m1z_w1z_11's definitions

SUV

SUV stands for Sport-Utility-Vehicle but can also be read as: Super Ugly Vehicle, Stupid Useless Vehicle, Sport Useless Vehicle, Super Useless Vehicle, Sucky Useless Vehicle, or Seriously Ugly Vehicle. Most SUV's sit in the garage and never go off road unless one of their tires blows out. They are an extra heavy, environmentally hostile, overpriced status symbol with poor gas mileage, high repair costs, and a history of rolling over. Driven mostly by the same Baby Boomers who brought us bell bottoms and disco. They are viewed by some psychologists as a Freudian expression of insecurity and lack of sexual endowment. People hit by SUV's usually die instantly. Some analysts predict the death of the SUV fad/craze to be 2006.

Bill: Hey look at my new SUV, it weighs six tons, is 20 feet long, gets 4 miles to the gallon, and has never seen a dirt road.
John: What do you need it for?
Bill: I feel insecure and the commercials looked exciting. Hey would you like to see an old pair of my bell bottoms?
John: No thanks, me and my wife are taking our new hybrid cross country to go camping.
Bill: Well have a good time, I'm taking out a loan to buy some gas to drive to work this month.

by m1z_w1z_11 September 19, 2005

Zombie

A person who accepts the status quo because of fear and/or lack of conviction. They generally only act out of anger and by then it's to late. They live without beliefs other than the following- Go to school, get a job, make money, buy lots of crap, die. Frequently encountered in the American school system and the suburbs.

Steve: Do you think we should be in Iraq? Do you feel the war is right or wrong?
John: Hey the new Hummer is only going to be 36K! and it comes in yellow!
Steve: Should we devote more federal funds to conduct stem cell research?
John: Did you see American Idol last night?
Steve: Shouldn't we report that death threat letter we found at school today?
John: Huh? Were you speaking to me?
Steve: Never mind. Your such a Zombie.
John: (Groans. Starts chewing on Steve)

by m1z_w1z_11 September 19, 2005

Chicago

Years ago famed poet Carl Sandberg wrote of Chicago, "Hog Butcher for the World, Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat, Player with Railroads and the Nation's Freight Handler; Stormy, husky, brawling, City of the Big Shoulders..." Unfortunately the Chicago of today is more the city of small shoulders with it's severely outdated mayor and politics, endless road construction, constant beach closings, it's perpetually losing sports teams, insane parking fees, a losing city mantra - 'The second city', pseudo intellectuals, and a constant stream of boring suburbanites driving boring SUVs.

Dave: Hey lets vist a city.
Ben: How about Chicago?
Dave: What does Chicago have?
Ben: Ummm.....hmmm, good point.
Dave: How about Seattle, Boston, San Diego, or Tampa.
Ben: Sounds great.

by m1z_w1z_11 September 21, 2005

College Duh-gree

A highly overated piece of paper recieved by a student who completes four years or more of college with at least a C average in a specified field of study. Anybody with a pulse and a valid social security number can get one.

Mike: Hey I graduated, give me my College Duh-gree!
Dean: Here you go sucker, I mean future donating alumni.
Mike: Thanks, I feel superior already.
Dean: A Superior idiot maybe...I mean,uh,superior individual.

by m1z_w1z_11 September 12, 2005

SAP

Spoiled American Princess-Typical american girl who thinks she should be worshipped and adored like a queen. Demands attention wherever she goes and pitches huge bitch-fits if she doesn't get her way right away. Can't accept competition of any sort or that other girls may have something that she doesn't. A product of poor baby boomer parenting.

Janice: Uh oh, here comes Kerry.
Mark: What's wrong with her.
Janice: She is the biggest SAP. I feel sorry for her when she goes to college, she's going to be so dissapointed.

by m1z_w1z_11 September 21, 2005

Useless

The end result of going through the American educational system.

Jack: I'm scared to think, can you decide things for me.
Gas Sation Attendant(GSA): Didn't you just graduate from college?
Jack: Yes I have a college duh-gree.
GSA: Ah, I see. Ok. You gave me $20...
Jack: Yeah, thats a twenty dollar bill, right?
GSA: ...and you put $16.50 on pump 11.
Jack: Stop. Just give me my change.

by m1z_w1z_11 September 19, 2005

Deflation

The feeling one gets after all the parental hype of your life gets swept away by reality. Usually after hichschool when you are no longer the most popular and the only college to accept you is Lost Dog Community College or Drunken State Univ. Also experienced after college when you realize- you are not going to be drafted by a pro sports team, no one cares where you graduated from, and your loans total 85K and your job pays 26K a year.

Mark: What's up. Haven't seen you since highschool. Did you finish Harvard?
John: I never got accepted. I'm going to DSU.
Mark: Oh. Still shooting for the NFL?
John: I got a busted knee. I'm majoring in business now.
Mark: Wow, sounds tough. Your parents are still proud though. You won state in highschool and that'll last forever.
John: I'm gonna go, I don't feel so hot.
Mark: It's ok your experiencing deflation.

by m1z_w1z_11 September 10, 2005