53 definitions by luigi
by luigi July 11, 2004
Burmese (yeah, yeah, Myanmar): A dance festival, Canival of the Spirit Soul, danced by a Kadaw, who can be a cross dresser. The skilled Pwe dancer can move each buttock independently. The dance is to appease a spirit called a Nat.
Colonel Smythe-Jones took his guests to see the Pwe dancers in colonial Burma, but the ladies were shocked at seeing a dancer jiggle her buttocks at the audience. One of them fainted, but the rest of the women had something more interesting than "It was hot, blazing hot" to put in their letters home to England.
by luigi July 12, 2004
Though Marissa didn't like dogs, she couldn't resist adopting her boyfriend Lester's shar pei when he was unexpectedly asked to be a guest of the State and had to give up the pooch. Fideaux was cugly with his wrinkly face and corrugated neck, and Marissa found she loved the rascal as much as that scamp Lester who was doing 10 to 15 for internet scamming old ladies out of their retirement pensions.
by luigi August 15, 2004
A nightspot, pub or other boite where parthenogenically produced lesbians can hang out with others of their kind. See klondike
Gertrude and Alice met at a klondike bar and got married in Massachusetts. Then they got on the waiting list to create their own klondike from a Cambridge laboratory.
by luigi August 6, 2004
Note to self, as in "Note to self, remember never to proposition women in bars who have with tattoos AND piercings AND crew cuts. "
by luigi July 9, 2004
Kevin was a busycheekee, his partner Bruce was a butch busycheeker and they were getting married in Massachusetts. Or ..so..they...though.
by luigi July 12, 2004
Could be high school, but also is husband's school, where men learn the fine art of pleasing women and leaving the toilet seat in a righteous position.
Husbands in remote Kreplachistan still attend "Poosiwippauniversitaat" or "School for Husbands." It's as mandatory before a Kreplachi wedding as a prenup in Beverly Hills.
Potential husbands learn important skills like taking out the trash, mowing the lawn without prompting, cleaning up after the goats in the yard, running errands and putting down the toilet seat.
"It is a difficult habit to break if your mother did not teach you, as a young boy, to do this," remarks Hayseed Fuzzlov, one of the students who hoped he would marry well as a result of his studies. "I always use the toilet with the seat down," confides the more savvy Fabian Goatchek. "My mother trained me well."
It is said that the best brides will reject any proposal from a potential husband who doesn't possess the distinctive diploma, a whip crossed with a rolling pin tatooed on a tanned cat skin. "I wouldn't want a woman who didn't want me to have this schooling," remarks Igo Bonkers, a young man with a flourishing mustache, traditional in this mountainous land and useful for straining the bugs and leaves out of the strong Kreplachi tea "She would be a kind of a slut if she didn't." Unfortunately, after he uttered the Kreplachi word for "slut", three Amazons charged out of the bushes and clubbed him senseless with rolling pins. Such words are beneath the classically trained male students, and violations of the rules are judged harshly.
Advanced studies in diaper changing, doing dishes without breakage, foot-rubbing and finding gainful employment are available for those who really are serious about a good marriage, and remedial courses are typically completely booked months in advanced.
The final exam is said to be very tough: "They might ask you something difficult like 'Does this dress make me look fat' and you'd better have the right answer. You could die right on the spot if you get it wrong" Bonkers tells the reporter.
Last year eight men didn't make it through the course. But even their mothers weren't terribly sorry. "They just didn't learn. Not that we didn't try." remarked one mother, whose late son was a notable dunce. "He deserved what he got."
Potential husbands learn important skills like taking out the trash, mowing the lawn without prompting, cleaning up after the goats in the yard, running errands and putting down the toilet seat.
"It is a difficult habit to break if your mother did not teach you, as a young boy, to do this," remarks Hayseed Fuzzlov, one of the students who hoped he would marry well as a result of his studies. "I always use the toilet with the seat down," confides the more savvy Fabian Goatchek. "My mother trained me well."
It is said that the best brides will reject any proposal from a potential husband who doesn't possess the distinctive diploma, a whip crossed with a rolling pin tatooed on a tanned cat skin. "I wouldn't want a woman who didn't want me to have this schooling," remarks Igo Bonkers, a young man with a flourishing mustache, traditional in this mountainous land and useful for straining the bugs and leaves out of the strong Kreplachi tea "She would be a kind of a slut if she didn't." Unfortunately, after he uttered the Kreplachi word for "slut", three Amazons charged out of the bushes and clubbed him senseless with rolling pins. Such words are beneath the classically trained male students, and violations of the rules are judged harshly.
Advanced studies in diaper changing, doing dishes without breakage, foot-rubbing and finding gainful employment are available for those who really are serious about a good marriage, and remedial courses are typically completely booked months in advanced.
The final exam is said to be very tough: "They might ask you something difficult like 'Does this dress make me look fat' and you'd better have the right answer. You could die right on the spot if you get it wrong" Bonkers tells the reporter.
Last year eight men didn't make it through the course. But even their mothers weren't terribly sorry. "They just didn't learn. Not that we didn't try." remarked one mother, whose late son was a notable dunce. "He deserved what he got."
by luigi August 10, 2004