longrider700's definitions

Ink Twinkie

An attention starved tattoo addict. They need to have as many tattoos as possible. Certain to live a life of regret when the middle age sag causes all that ink to look like greasy smears....

"I don't mean to be an Ink twinkie but I have a 2 inch area on my foot that I can squeeze another swallow of star on. Which one should I do?"

by longrider700 January 30, 2015

War-donut

An unattractive but sexually available woman, inhabiting low-rent bars and pubs. A sad, misguided individual seeking some sort of meaningful relationship through easy sexual encounters with the sleazy characters found in said dives.

Most often seen around Welfare Cheque Time.
To be avoided as much as possible; they can be flighty and dangerously unstable.

OK, I know you're drunk. If I see you trying to pick up that War-donut, I'm dragging you out of here by your hair!

by longrider700 March 4, 2015

Cholera Cake

Another name for a Jamaican patty; a semi-sweet pastry filled with diarrhea-inducing mystery "meat".

I'm hurting today...
I had a dozen beers and two Cholera Cakes last night.

by longrider700 August 5, 2017

Fapster

1) A fat Hipster
2) A person so engrossed in the trappings of being a hipster, they don't realise what a jerk-off they have become.

Wow! Grant is so wrapped up in finding the Great Undiscovered Craft Beer and looking for goat-cheese poutine that he can't see how much of an insufferable Fapster he's being. Will; give his head a shake.

by longrider700 May 20, 2016

Ambush-deuce

A poo that sneaks up on you at the most unfortunate time; like a job interview or third date.

" I was about to get very busy with her when this infernal Ambush-deuce reared up. I had to go home. So close, so far......"

by longrider700 May 20, 2016

Stroller-tard

A parent manipulating or parking an S.U.V.-sized stroller with no regard to anyone trying to past or around them.

I was trying to get out of the grocery store but this f--ing Stroller-tard was blocking the exit.

by longrider700 May 20, 2016

Alkiecycle

An electric bicycle often ridden by those who have lost their license to drive due to Impared Driving convictions.

"I was walking on the sidewalk when some clown on an Alkiecycle nearly plowed into me!"

by longrider700 June 1, 2016