Definitions by longrider700

Door conference 

A meeting held by oblivious twits in a busy, public place such as a doorway, hallway, elevator or escalator exit.

"Sorry to interrupt the Door conference, I'm trying to get this patient to surgery!

Door conference by longrider700 January 30, 2015

Ink Twinkie 

An attention starved tattoo addict. They need to have as many tattoos as possible. Certain to live a life of regret when the middle age sag causes all that ink to look like greasy smears....

"I don't mean to be an Ink twinkie but I have a 2 inch area on my foot that I can squeeze another swallow of star on. Which one should I do?"

Ink Twinkie by longrider700 January 30, 2015

Cart Bomb 

To surreptitiously drop random products in a fellow shoppers cart at the supermarket. Only to be done if said shopper is obliviously leaving their cart unattended and blocking an aisle.

I just did a Triple Crown of a Cart Bomb! I dropped three feminine hygiene products in that guys' cart that was blocking three aisles!

Cart Bomb by longrider700 January 14, 2015

Poverty Poser 

Any young, apparently healthy, Twenty-something pan-handler that clearly isn't homeless and is looking to get some "Street cred". They usually return home to the suburbs after a day or so to bemoan their fate. Often dressed better than the people that give them handouts.

That Poverty Poser is a fraud! He's not homeless; he lives next door to me!

Poverty Poser by longrider700 January 12, 2015

Dog Pimp 

Any "homeless" person who trades on the pity of animal lovers by having a dog with them to illicit pity (for the dog) and therefore, more hand-outs. Forcing a helpless animal to squat in the inclement weather in order to support their manipulative owner.

I felt sorry for that Dog Pimp and gave him another 10 pound bag of dog food. He seems to go through one a day....

Dog Pimp by longrider700 January 12, 2015

Patchoulian 

Hippy wannabe marinated in Patchouli to mask the scent of pot smoking and disdain of hygiene. Often seen at vegan festivals, any protests and incense stores. Wears Birkenstocks and work socks in the coldest winter months.
Often interchangeable with Waspafarian.

That Patchoulian just tried to sell me a poem!

Patchoulian by longrider700 January 10, 2015

Avant Lard 

A reference to formerly junky "Comfort Food" diner concoctions, now up-graded and regarded as haute cuisine among the Hipster Elite.

"Did you try the grain-fed veal baloney and Icelandic goat cheese 'n' macaroni at The Greez And Spoon? It's SO Avant Lard..."

Avant Lard by longrider700 January 9, 2015