Definitions by klopek007
Achy Breaky Hannah
Achy Breaky Hannah is a name for the process which that hot little piece of jailbait Miley Cyrus and/or her pointless alter-ego will soon undergo. Following in the footsteps of Britney Spears, her weight will balloon up, she'll get knocked up by a trailer-trash wigger and drink heavily during the pregnancy, make numerous public appearances going commando in a short dress, enter/quit rehab at least five times, and finally be found in bed one morning with an empty bottle of pills and an empty bottle of rum.
Once Miley completes the long process of Achy Breaky Hannah, she'll just be yet another one of the garden-variety pop-stars who all sound exactly alike and yet somehow draw tons of pre-teen fans. At least it's still a bigger accomplishment than her one-hit-wonder father.
Achy Breaky Hannah by klopek007 January 26, 2010
New York sports opportunist
A person who lives in the New York area, and often changes what pro sports teams they cheer for based on which ones are doing well. Each of the four major American sports has more than one New York area team: New York Yankees and New York Mets for baseball, New Jersey Jets and New Jersey Giants for football, New York Knicks and New Jersey Nets for basketball; and finally the New York Rangers, New York Islanders, and New Jersey Devils for hockey.
A New York sports opportunist will therefore choose to be a fan of whichever team is currently doing better in each sport. They will then act like they've always been a fan of that team, and vehemently deny ever liking another team in the same sport.
It's important to note that not ALL residents of the New York area are New York sports opportunists, but there are vast numbers of people that are.
A New York sports opportunist will therefore choose to be a fan of whichever team is currently doing better in each sport. They will then act like they've always been a fan of that team, and vehemently deny ever liking another team in the same sport.
It's important to note that not ALL residents of the New York area are New York sports opportunists, but there are vast numbers of people that are.
NYSO: I love the Yankees! I've been a die hard Yankees fan all my life!
REALIST: No you haven't. You wore a Mets hat all through the 80s, and the first half of the 90s. Then suddenly you became a Yankees fan. That makes you a New York sports opportunist.
NYSO: No way, you're just jealous because my team rules!
NYSO: Woohoo! My Giants just ended the Patriots perfect season!
REALIST: Yeah, you weren't a Giants fan until a few weeks ago. I bet you can't even name five players on the team.
NYSO: Well... there's Eli Manning, and... uh....
NYSO: Well, the Nets aren't exactly great, but I'm so glad I like them instead of the Knicks, they really suck!
REALIST: Why do you have a listing on ebay for that autographed Patrick Ewing poster that used to be on your wall for so many years?
NYSO: I have no idea what you're talking about.
NYSO: I love the Devils, but I also bought a bunch of Rangers and Islanders merchandise and buried it in my closet. You know, just in case they ever get good again.
REALIST: Stop the presses.
REALIST: No you haven't. You wore a Mets hat all through the 80s, and the first half of the 90s. Then suddenly you became a Yankees fan. That makes you a New York sports opportunist.
NYSO: No way, you're just jealous because my team rules!
NYSO: Woohoo! My Giants just ended the Patriots perfect season!
REALIST: Yeah, you weren't a Giants fan until a few weeks ago. I bet you can't even name five players on the team.
NYSO: Well... there's Eli Manning, and... uh....
NYSO: Well, the Nets aren't exactly great, but I'm so glad I like them instead of the Knicks, they really suck!
REALIST: Why do you have a listing on ebay for that autographed Patrick Ewing poster that used to be on your wall for so many years?
NYSO: I have no idea what you're talking about.
NYSO: I love the Devils, but I also bought a bunch of Rangers and Islanders merchandise and buried it in my closet. You know, just in case they ever get good again.
REALIST: Stop the presses.
New York sports opportunist by klopek007 January 24, 2010
long distance bandwagon fan
A long distance bandwagon fan is a specific variety of bandwagon fan. Typical bandwagon fans are local, they ignore the particular sport altogether when their local team is doing poorly, and suddenly become superfans when they're doing well. Meanwhile, long distance bandwagon fans will become superfans of any team in the country when they're doing well, and then just as quickly pick a different team when the tables are turned.
They are often spotted wearing team merchandise which is later donated to a thrift store. Just like the regular bandwagon fans, they will swear that they've always liked their current team du jure, and vehemently deny ever being a fan of any other team.
They are often spotted wearing team merchandise which is later donated to a thrift store. Just like the regular bandwagon fans, they will swear that they've always liked their current team du jure, and vehemently deny ever being a fan of any other team.
Some prime examples of teams with great numbers of long distance bandwagon fans are: San Francisco 49ers in the 80s, Edmonton Oilers in the 80s, Dallas Cowboys in the 90s, Chicago Bulls in the 90s, Atlanta Braves in the 90s and early 2000s, New York Yankees in the late 90s and 2000s, and Indianapolis Colts in the 2000s.
LDBF: I love the Yankees! Those are my boys and always have been! I'm soooooo lucky that my favorite team is so good!!!
REALIST: Yeah, ok. Luck has nothing to do with it. You live in Kansas, you've never travelled anywhere near New York, and somehow I doubt you can name the starting lineup. You're the epitome of a long distance bandwagon fan.
LDBF: Whatever, you're just jealous because my team rulez!!!
REALIST: Right, because it would be so difficult for me to buy a Yankees hat and start calling myself a fan. <rolls eyes>
LDBF: I love the Yankees! Those are my boys and always have been! I'm soooooo lucky that my favorite team is so good!!!
REALIST: Yeah, ok. Luck has nothing to do with it. You live in Kansas, you've never travelled anywhere near New York, and somehow I doubt you can name the starting lineup. You're the epitome of a long distance bandwagon fan.
LDBF: Whatever, you're just jealous because my team rulez!!!
REALIST: Right, because it would be so difficult for me to buy a Yankees hat and start calling myself a fan. <rolls eyes>
long distance bandwagon fan by klopek007 January 24, 2010
Pugnatheism
A term invented by angry atheists who suffer from anger management issues and superiority complex. It is a portmanteau of 'pugnacious' and 'atheism', although it is often mistakenly referred to as a contraction instead of a portmanteau, which should give some indication of the overall intelligence of those who say they practice it. The term means aggressive atheism, and is characterized by thinking oneself to be automatically superior to anyone who believes in any kind of religion, and feeling that it's necessary to verbally abuse such people. This is the opposite of using a "live and let live" attitude, and so they refuse to be tolerant of the life choices of others, even when those others are tolerant of the life choice of the atheist.
Hobbies of those who practice pugnatheism include, but are not limited to: making sweeping over-generalizations about various persons, groups, organizations, and even who geographic regions; complete and utter refusal to be tolerant of anyone whose beliefs or philosophies differ from your own; angrily arguing on internet forums with religious people in order to tell them how wrong and stupid they are instead of simply living your life enjoyably and letting them do the same; believing yourself to be such a brilliant genius that you know the exact nature of the universe and calculate with 100% accuracy that there couldn't possibly be anything besides what you can see with your own two eyes; and of course, practicing regular worship of Richard Dawkins.
Pugnatheism by klopek007 November 16, 2009
Red state
NON-BIASED DEFINTION: In recent years, in the U.S. only, a red state has come to mean a state that traditionally votes Republican, as opposed to a blue state which traditionally votes Democrat.
In the past, media would use maps with red for one party and blue for the other, with no set standard. The current trend was set during the 2000 Presidential election, when NBC used it. The race was very close, and because of this, Tim Russert was often heard to say things like "Bush needs x more red states in order to win, and Gore needs x more blue states in order to win." Because the coverage was being watched so intently by so many people, the color scheme stuck, and is now used by all networks.
What many people don't realize is that this color scheme is actually the opposite of traditional political colors. Red has always been associated with socialism and communism (i.e. extreme forms of liberalism) as seen on flags of countries such as the P.R.C., the U.S.S.R., and the D.P.R.K. On the other hand, blue is most often associated with conservatism, and sometimes facism (i.e. the extreme form of conservatism). Most nations still use this color scheme.
It may be that NBC assigned these colors at random, or it may be because Republican and red both start with R. Neither party has officially adopted these colors. This color scheme has often led to confusion when residents of other countries see a political map of the U.S. or hear Americans discussing red states versus blue states.
In the past, media would use maps with red for one party and blue for the other, with no set standard. The current trend was set during the 2000 Presidential election, when NBC used it. The race was very close, and because of this, Tim Russert was often heard to say things like "Bush needs x more red states in order to win, and Gore needs x more blue states in order to win." Because the coverage was being watched so intently by so many people, the color scheme stuck, and is now used by all networks.
What many people don't realize is that this color scheme is actually the opposite of traditional political colors. Red has always been associated with socialism and communism (i.e. extreme forms of liberalism) as seen on flags of countries such as the P.R.C., the U.S.S.R., and the D.P.R.K. On the other hand, blue is most often associated with conservatism, and sometimes facism (i.e. the extreme form of conservatism). Most nations still use this color scheme.
It may be that NBC assigned these colors at random, or it may be because Republican and red both start with R. Neither party has officially adopted these colors. This color scheme has often led to confusion when residents of other countries see a political map of the U.S. or hear Americans discussing red states versus blue states.
When I hear the term "red state" I automatically think of China or North Korea, not Texas or Utah. It's such a pet peeve that the U.S. got red state and blue state backwards!
Blue state
NON-BIASED DEFINTION: In recent years, in the U.S. only, a blue state has come to mean a state that traditionally votes Democrat, as opposed to a red state which traditionally votes Republican.
In the past, media would use maps with red for one party and blue for the other, with no set standard. The current trend was set during the 2000 Presidential election, when NBC used it. The race was very close, and because of this, Tim Russert was often heard to say things like "Bush needs x more red states in order to win, and Gore needs x more blue states in order to win." Because the coverage was being watched so intently by so many people, the color scheme stuck, and is now used by all networks.
What many people don't realize is that this color scheme is actually the opposite of traditional political colors. Red has always been associated with socialism and communism (i.e. extreme forms of liberalism) as seen on flags of countries such as the P.R.C., the U.S.S.R., and the D.P.R.K. On the other hand, blue is most often associated with conservatism, and sometimes facism (i.e. the extreme form of conservatism). Most nations still use this color scheme.
It may be that NBC assigned these colors at random, or it may be because Republican and red both start with R. Neither party has officially adopted these colors. This color scheme has often led to confusion when residents of other countries see a political map of the U.S. or hear Americans discussing red states versus blue states.
In the past, media would use maps with red for one party and blue for the other, with no set standard. The current trend was set during the 2000 Presidential election, when NBC used it. The race was very close, and because of this, Tim Russert was often heard to say things like "Bush needs x more red states in order to win, and Gore needs x more blue states in order to win." Because the coverage was being watched so intently by so many people, the color scheme stuck, and is now used by all networks.
What many people don't realize is that this color scheme is actually the opposite of traditional political colors. Red has always been associated with socialism and communism (i.e. extreme forms of liberalism) as seen on flags of countries such as the P.R.C., the U.S.S.R., and the D.P.R.K. On the other hand, blue is most often associated with conservatism, and sometimes facism (i.e. the extreme form of conservatism). Most nations still use this color scheme.
It may be that NBC assigned these colors at random, or it may be because Republican and red both start with R. Neither party has officially adopted these colors. This color scheme has often led to confusion when residents of other countries see a political map of the U.S. or hear Americans discussing red states versus blue states.
When I hear the term "blue state" I automatically think of the United States or the United Kingdom, not New York or California. And when I hear "red state" I think of China or North Korea, not Texas or Utah. It's such a pet peeve that the U.S. got red state and blue state backwards!
Blue state by klopek007 November 11, 2009
plumper
Plumper is a term used by women who want to feel good about their unhealthy obesity because they're too lazy to diet and exercise. Unfortunately for them, they won't have very long to enjoy feeling good about being fat, as they will likely be dead from a massive coronary before the age of 50.
It's no surprise that the term plumper was invented in the United States. Because, sadly, we have BY FAR the highest obesity rate on the planet. And instead of solving the problem, we invent terms like this so that people feel good about themselves, even when they get winded by waddling to the freezer for their daily quart of ice cream.
On the upside, those of us in decent shape are becoming more of a rarity, and are therefore more desirable and sought after than the fat masses.
On the upside, those of us in decent shape are becoming more of a rarity, and are therefore more desirable and sought after than the fat masses.