log whisperer

a person who speaks to his shit in a soft tone. He only whisper to the "bad" or "deliquent" logs that:

a; splash up water
b; one chunk come back post-flush
c; make you use 12 rolls of tahlet paper
d; make you wipe for 5 hours
e; make you have lil pebble shits

we whispers to the logs so they stop their bad behavior and change their brown ways.
if you want to correct your incorrect shits. if you want to fix your brown problem. if you like to shit, then be a log whisperer
by john really brown October 28, 2006
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poopstabate

this word was found in a Nietzsche text lost deep down in John Denver's raised ranch in jersey. It was found to mean a act of jacking off your shit. no, i dont mean sticking it up your holes again and again, i mean actual jacking off your logs.

comes from greek word,
poopstapolus batum, meaning the city where napolean first jacked off his logs. the next day he beat the french in a war., and so the act of poopstabation continued.
i love to poopstabate after i orgasm humanly.
by John really brown December 22, 2004
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milton bradley

the act of having sex while dressed up as the monopoly man. it can be every day, or only when your girl passes go. prefereabbly on a boardwalk or when she has grown out her marvin garden.
mike- i want sex
jane-well i want board games
james- how bout i solve both and play milton bradley
by john really brown July 08, 2006
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boom box sex

when you have sex with a girl, and you get a boom box. in return for an given orgasm, you will be rewarded with a boom box as a thank you gift. popular in the new england region and among asians
sandra- how do i have sex if im ugly
tommy- e z , just get a boom box as a gift
sandy- yea its boom box sex, all the ugly girls do it
steve- yea i once banged a girl for a my first sony, yo
by john really brown July 08, 2006
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sandpaper

when you use sand paper for a lube. many have tried this aspect to no avail, but it shall be tried again this millenia. it leaves both parties sensitive and just. tired and tight,and blue. you can actually sandpaper your dong to create a grit like sensation before you become erect and ejaculatory.
jane- lets spice up our sex life
dan- yea its more like sex pergutory
jane- haha, u r funny, but i saw someone use a new type of lube
dan- oh yea?
jane- yea
dan- well lets do it, lets use sandpaper for some grit.
jane- i will like it
dan- yes you will
jane- thanks, i hope i dont get a dry
san- oh no no, you will just get an orgasm
by john really brown June 14, 2006
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shitricide

Socrates didnt die from hemlock, he died from shitricide.
shitricide is the act of crocheting your ass check forcing bowels to be witheld inside the anal cavity. It was forggotton about until one day in london, man would actually pass out on the golf course, and becuase they wore kilts, the shit would tinkle down their knees, causing skin decay. So golfers would hold in their shits by crocheting their cheeks. THe first man to die was Wiston churchill. in his will he order the act of holding in your shits till death is called shitricide.
oh man, your putt like your shitricidal

haha, if you would have missed that putt, you might as well commit shitricide

=hey where tommy
=oh juan, dont you know he committed shitricide last week
=oh yea mother teresah was watching him play golf and he didnt want to take the chance....
=well thats what we call rolling the brown dice
-poor tommy, in his will he will rememeber shitricide
by john really brown April 30, 2006
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brown ribbon

to win the brown ribbon, you must understand two things. it is very much akin to the blue ribbon in a horse show, and it was invented for the Poop Olympics.

the brown ribbon is given to the winner of the longest and firmest shit.
the brown ribbon is a thin slice of nylon ribbon, width of 4 cm. and is sharp to the touchings. each log is lined up in the Log Lineup and one by one one is tried to be cut by the ribbon. the one thewith the most shitsistance (resistance of shit sue to corn ratio or other thing) this one wins it.
it the poop olympiad of brownsville, tx, Irving Logman won the brown ribbon.
it now adornes his fireplace.
by john really brown September 06, 2006
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