jerk jacket

A special rain slicker worn while masterbating to deter any errant cum strands.

Also refers to a condom worn only to jerk off into.

Whoa, whoa, hold your horses there tiger, lemme get my jerk jacket on first!

by jimmy patrick February 19, 2008

masterbatory

1. adj. used when someone is hot enough to jank to.

2. n. A special place (study, lavatory, closet used for masterbatory sessions.

3. n. Laboratory specially designed for studying masterbation.

1. Holy shit, I met Kristen's little sis last week, girl is fully masterbatory!

2. If you'll excuse me, I need to step into the masterbatory for a quick tug.

by jimmy patrick February 19, 2008

ouch!

What people always say when I stick my huge cock in them.

Ouch! I was expecting the length, but not the girth!

by jimmy patrick March 03, 2008

freddy got fingered

Tom Green's magnum opus and one of the most underrated comedies in cinema history, bearing a stellar performance by Rip Torn and a slew of cameos ranging from Anthony Michael Hall to Shaquille O'neal.

Seriously, ignore the douchebags who hate this movie, give it a chance, it is hilarious.

Yeah, obviously, if you hate Tom Green you will probably hate Freddy Got Fingered, but whether you admit it or not, the man is a genius.

by jimmy patrick February 25, 2008

shit prints

The muddy foot prints left on toilet seats by whatever nasty bastard still hasn’t learned how to navigate a modern bathroom.

Gross, I went to use the bathroom right after some dude from India, and there were shit prints all over the toilet seat! I guess I'll hold it.

by Jimmy Patrick February 26, 2008

kneegina

The pocket of fat above the knee of an obese person...can be used for sexytime, storing personal items, or as a hand/foot-hold to reach the elbowgina (or other hole).

She wasn't fat enough for me to put it in the elbowgina, but the kneegina was a perfect fit!

by jimmy patrick February 14, 2008

Bad Santa

Amazingly underrated comedy boasting a hilarious Brett Kelly as "The Kid" and Billy Bob Thornton (in his greatest performance since Sling Blade) as a foul-mouthed, alcoholic Santa Claus.

John Ritter's last film before his death, and one of the most politically incorrect movies of all time.

A Christmas story in a category of its own.

Bad Santa could have been terrible, but the excellent casting made it incredible.

by jimmy patrick February 25, 2008