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jfburke619's definitions

Stemmie

Someone whose intellectual capacity is limited to brain stem functions. Usually results in very short-sighted and selfish decisions.
"I feel bad for Bob, his life is one problem after another"

"Face it, he is a stemmie. He could not make a good decision to save his life."
by jfburke619 October 10, 2012
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e-taint

The place some piece of electronic communications resides between sending and receiving. Usually only noteworthy when the delay is pronounced.
Wilma: Why did not not answer my text? Dino was choking!
Fred: I never got a text from you.
Wilma: Bullshit, show me your phone!
Fred takes out phone and shows recent texts with none from from Wilma...
Wilma: My text must be stuck in the e-taint.
by jfburke619 September 12, 2018
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Pooping presidential

When you a take a shit that is so robust that it takes more than three flushes to get down the drain. A deferential reference to Donald Trumps lament that you need to flush more than once.
In the men's room at work -

Bob - I thought that the toilet was broken when I heard it flush three times in a row

Bill - Toilet is fine. I was pooping presidential.
by jfburke619 June 12, 2025
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Sideways Corona Mullett

A mullett is business in the front and party (or something else) in the back. Sideways Corona Mullett (or SCM) is when you work from home with business attire on the top and something not so business like on the bottom. It works for video conference calls as long as you do not get up.
Her: Aren't you working from home today? Why are you wearing pajama pants with a shirt and tie?
Him: Sideways Corona Mullett... no one is gonna see the pants.

Him: Why are you wearing sweats with your best blouse?
Her: SCM baby.
Him: We are cutting the laundry bill in half!
by jfburke619 March 30, 2020
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closet multitasking

Closet multitasking is when you show up for remote meetings pretending to be in attendance but really working on something else.
Bob: Did you hear in the staff meeting that no one can take vacation in February?
Jane: No. Did Fred say that?
Bob: Absolutely. What were you closet multitasking?

The Boss: Jim, How are sales doing?
Me: crickets - no reply
The Boss: WTF, Jim? You closet multitasking?
by jfburke619 January 26, 2021
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