iBetty's definitions

treegret

Coming home with the tree you sawed down and realizing it looked better in the forest. Treegrets may include but are not limited to discovering unsightly holes in tree boughs, buying one of them Balsams, finding that your tree is too big for its designated location, learning your tree was once or still is a home for wildlife.

Our family had an immediate sense of treegret when we stood the Balsam up and all of its needles fell off. While scooping up the pile of needles, Maw found a bird’s nest.

by iBetty December 5, 2011

Falshback

When something sparks a drunken memory, but the person telling the story tells it wrong and has to be corrected by someone sober enough to remember.

Brah 1: I got a ride home from one of the bartenders. She was hot.

Brah 2: Nope, you’re having another falshback. You drove yourself home, slid into the mailbox, and slept with some nasty older lady.

by iBetty December 27, 2012

pieceofshito'clock

The time that you wake up after a night of staying out too late drinking.

"Hey man, I heard you were late for work today."

"Yeah, I didn’t wake up until pieceofshito'clock."

by iBetty December 5, 2011

Post-Proofread

Reading an email or text to check for stupid mistakes after it's been sent.

That message I just sent you should have said, "Please *don’t* go on a date with my ex-girlfriend." Good thing I post-proofread it.

by iBetty December 26, 2011

A Cowboy's Dozen

to buy as much of a desired product as one can afford with the amount of money one is carrying.

Cashier: Can I help you?
Customer: I’ll take some of those one dollar scratch-off tickets right there.
Cashier: Sure, how many would you like?
Customer: A Cowboy's Dozen (throws money on counter)
Cashier: (counts money) Soooo, seven then?
Customer: I reckon.
Cashier: Good luck!

Could also be used to exaggerate a story:
Derek: How much money did he say he won on that bet?
Jeff: A Cowboy’s $300.
Derek: Meaning?
Jeff: $200

by iBetty January 10, 2012