i love tarquin's definitions

Henry the Hoover

For men, using a Henry Hoover for sexual pleasure. An alternative is Henrietta the Hoover if using the pink model. For women, it is a man who leaves 'war wounds'. Can be shortened to Henry.

"I have never... done it with Henry the Hoover."

"That Rob is such a Henry. Look what he did to my neck!"

by I Love Tarquin November 13, 2007

Cacker

In New Forest dialect, a cacker is not a chav, nor currently living on a housing estate. A cacker is someone who lives a rough lifestyle on the forest. It derives from the verb 'to cack', meaning to deficate oneself, relating to the squalid living conditions these people choose to live in. Other characteristics of the atypical cacker involve eating road-kill, selling magic mushrooms, badger-baiting, selling junk and terrorising local pubs. The addition of 'er' on the end of cacker, suggests that it was once a name, which in turn derived from a job title. In essence, a cacker is commonly treated as the non-Romany equivalent of a gypsy. Cacker can be used as a term of offence for non-cackers. A half-Romany/half-cacker is known as a diddicai.

"See Seth badger-baiting the other day? Such a cacker."

"I can't believe you bought that dress. You look like such a cacker!"

by I Love Tarquin November 13, 2007

Noo-Noo

Someone who tidies up meticulously to the point of obsessiveness. Named after the hoover in the Teletubbies.

"When we've had a party, your mum turns into a Noo-Noo."

by I Love Tarquin November 13, 2007

grockle

A holiday maker, but one from outside the local vicinity, i.e. someone holidaying in Christchurch who's from Southampton isn't a grockle. Term used on the south coast and has spread eastwards, stopping at Southampton water. Most commonly heard in the solent town of Lymington where it's used as an insult towards ignorant and usually posh tourists, those with caravans, those with five kids, a dog and granddad tagging along and those that have been coming to the town for twenty years and think they know/own the place. Most commonly heard amongst fed-up shopworkers and working-class locals. Tends not to be applied to foreign tourists as these generally tend to be considerate people when travelling and don't make a nuisance of themselves.

"Heads up, grockle in the shop!"

"I want to take out these grockles with a sniper rifle."

by I Love Tarquin November 13, 2007

bhangramuffin

A bhangramuffin is a person of Indian or Pakistani origin who speaks in an Estuary accent, wears sportswear or clothing that went out of fashion in the 90s and often has a taste for Asian girls, known as the 'rasmaloi', but is rarely rewarded for his efforts. First found in Goodness Gracious Me in the Bhangramuffin sketch.

"Why you going after them rasmaloi, man?"
"Because I'm absolute besty. I'm a bhangramuffin!"
"INNIT!"

by I Love Tarquin November 15, 2007