gnostic1's definitions

condumb

n. State of mind, often induced by alcohol, in which one is unaware of the need for coital prophylaxis.

..............................

Yo Stephanie! Nice baby bump girl. Looks like your condumb comes six to a case not three to a box.

Say what? I ain't no good at math.

Yeah. Or biology.

by gnostic1 December 23, 2011

West Duck Hollow

place. Isolated hamlet in Alberta, Canada, that, fueled by high profits, fueled by high ethylene prices, has been riding high on the hog without the sponsorship of big gravel. Free from the doldrumic influence of East Duck Hollow since the partition of 1948 the vibrant citizenry of West Duck Hollow have been kindling the fires of progress in their matchless march to the future of petrochemical dominance-related carbon-footprinting. It is a place free from zoning restrictions where people can occupy a public park with tents, signage, muffins, and no clear purpose.

Clear cutting by a forward-thinking Tourism Council allows views of Ponoka, from which the Rocky Mountains can be seen. An interpretive center is planned for the tourist kiosk which is planned for the fall of 2015.

Lumberjack competitions and fencing exhibitions, often between gangs of tree-toughs from the various hamlets in the greater Duck Hollow region, provide much of the business at the local medical office.

.............................

West Duck Hollow sure has some pretty vistas. You can sure see that this is a place that owns some nice Ethylene deposits and doesn't depend on gravel sluicing for its tax dollars.

by gnostic1 December 27, 2011

Llandwbllllwydd

place. Welsh mining village nestled in the Snowdonian range in Glamorgan. Twice voted the least pronouceable place on the planet.

Quilt making, poetry composition and pneumoconiosis are the backbones of the economy.

Here now Yestin. What say we amble down the mountain to look for lassies in Llandwbllllwydd?

by gnostic1 August 17, 2011

vanity spectacles

n. Phrase used to indicate someone's ego is inflated.

Bob thinks his crib is all that, but he's looking through his vanity spectacles.

by gnostic1 December 4, 2010

life cache

n. Accumulated worth of your being; value of the knowledge, more than rhe physical wealth, you have acquired during your sojurn on earth.

When I die my life cache will live on and its wonders will enrich generations to come.

Yeah, right. Only if the price of pompousness increases dramatically.

by gnostic1 October 21, 2010

briar

n. Any important ice-curling or water-polo tournament where prizes in the form of large coffee-cups are awarded for shot-rock, sweepings mvp, and top goalie. Often Canadians and Swedish folk take their elderly or infirm relatives to Briars as it is a restful form of entertainment that will not over-stimulate the senses. Traditionally women are not allowed to compete in Briars except mid-week but this is changing with the introduction of half-weight rocks. A Canada-wide briar, in which the revered Tim Horton's Coffee Tankard is awarded, is held every three years with entrants selected in a national lottery.

.............................

Are you taking your granny to the Briar in Calgary this week-end? I hear the Canadian coffee tankard is up for grabs.

No. She has to get her colostomy changed over for the winter so it don't freeze.

by gnostic1 March 8, 2012

Goggle

v. To look at a problem and think up a solution; to come up with a date, name, etc. based on one's personal store of acquired knowledge.

.............................

I find this problem to be vexacious! I think I'll Google it.

No no. I'll goggle it. It'll be quicker and I'll get to lord it over you.

Thanks.

by gnostic1 February 29, 2012