The condition where the string of your thong wedges itself firmly in your butt crack. Common when a large woman is wearing a size "small" thong.
Art: "Dude, check out that fat whore over there yanking on her underwear!"
Evan: "Dude, she's got a bad case of g-string cling! Throw her the needle-nosed pliers!"
Bed For Indigents
Evan: "Dude, I was passing by that laneway by the Mr. Lube, and some homeless guy crawled out of the dumpster, all stank and nasty! I think he slept in there!"
Art: "Dude, of course, that's a BFI!"
The byproduct of a careless wipe. After having a shit, if you forget to roll up the sleeve of your wiping arm, you inadvertently smear shit on the cuff of your shirt while wiping your ass.
Evan: Dude, was that a good shit or what?
Art: How'd you know I just dumped a load?
Evan: You've got a fresh chocolate cufflink on you're right arm. Go change your shirt!
Act of having diarrhea so badly that the entire inside of the toilet is spray painted with excrement.
Art runs screaming from the bathroom, cursing at Evan.
Evan: Dude, calm down, what's your issue?
Art: DUDE, if you're gonna' have a nail bomb in my toilet, at least give a second flush! My cleaning lady doesn't come until Friday!
When you pass out on the bed with your head next to your buddie's ass and he farts gently into your face.
Evan is scrubbing madly at his face in the bathroom one morning.
Art: "Dude, you're going to rub your face raw!"
Evan: "Dude, you gave me a chocolate whisper last night! I don't want to go to work with any farticles
on my face!"
The condition, when somewhat sweaty, where your scrotum adheres to your inner thigh. A precursor to ball soup
Art is hopping around rearranging his junk.
Evan:"Dude, what's the matter? You got crabs?"
Art: "No man, it's so hot I've got bag weld!"
When someone does something that clearly identifies them as a rookie, they are flying their Rookie Flag.
Art: Dude, when did you get your new iPad?
Evan: Yesterday, dude, how did you know?
Art: Your email signature still says, "Sent from my iPad". Dude - you've gotta ditch that Rookie Flag before everyone thinks you're a total loser!