fubarderby's definitions

Yes Car Credit

Dodgy British car finance company that sells rubbish cars (e.g. ex rental Vauxhall Astras) to the desperate.

"I just got out of jail for fraud and owe £250K. Can I have get a Ferrari?"

"Yes you can."

by fubarderby October 22, 2004

eiffel tower

Certainly the oldest, and also one of the world's largest pieces of scaffolding.

After 130 years, nobody can remember what it was put up for.

Nice piece of scaffolding. I wonder what it was meant for.

by fubarderby May 8, 2005

Baling twine

Baling twine can be used to tie anything together and is the strongest material known to man. If aircraft were built out of this and duct tape, they could survive any crash intact.

A: "This climbing rope is frayed and I have to scale the north face of the Eiger."

B: "Use this length of baling twine instead."

by fubarderby October 22, 2004

lumpy jumper

Royal Air Force slang for a female, due to their mammory glands and the tight-fitting issue sweaters.

What's the new supply officer like?
Not too bad, for a lumpy jumper.

by fubarderby June 13, 2004

Nottingham

Urban firing range located in the East Midlands of England. The Chief Constable of Notts this week complained publicly that he is going to have to subcontract some murder investigations because his detectives cannot cope with the workload.

Boss: "We want you to move to Hucknall (north side of Nottingham) to work".
Me: "No thanks. I will stay in Derby as it is safer here".

by fubarderby March 16, 2005

dixons

Chain of British electrical retailers that exclusively employs male juvenile retards with bad acne. They all wear cheap shiny suits from Burtons or Top Man (clothing chains that employ the same sort of people).

Dixons make their money on selling dodgy extended warranties by trying to scare you that the screen on your shiny new laptop might break. One time they tried to sell me an extended warranty on a £10 kettle. FFS...

Spotty youth: "You can insure the washing machine against breakdown for 3 years for only £10/month".
Me: "Are you saying that this product which I have not yet paid for is unreliable?".
SY: "Ehhhhh...."
Me: "Besides, if it breaks, I will get a plumber out to fix it and that cannot cost as much as £360".
SY: "Security to checkouts please. We have a customer with a brain".

by fubarderby September 6, 2005

barista

Coffee bitch. Not to be confused with a barrister.

Idiot: "I work as a barista".
Me (winding up idiot): "So you are a lawyer who works in the High Court?"
Idiot (confused): "Ehhh no I make coffee in Starbucks."
Me (sniggering): "Ahhh, you mean you are a coffee bitch."

by fubarderby December 28, 2008