108 definitions by frank klaune
Humourous phrase relating to an exasperating incident. Shortly after 11 a.m. on a sultry August afternoon, Winky was riding in the back seat of the limosine as it cruised down the highway. He suggested to his driver, "It's almost noon. Find a place to stop for lunch." The driver drove on, eyeing the countryside with no rest area to be found. About 11:45, Winky said, "Okay now, find a roadside stop for lunch" and the driver continued to search as he drove on. Around 12:45, Winky now exasperatedly said, "Stop at the nearest stop. We WILL have lunch." The poor driver still didn't see a roadside stop, so when they drove through a small town, Winky excoriated his driver mercilessly saying, "I told you already to find a place to stop for lunch, damnit." The hapless driver shot back, "I've been looking and looking but honest... there hasn't been any rest areas!' At this, Winky angrily ordered the driver to pull into the little city square they were approaching. There, at theat unlikely location they all had a very late lunch. They then loaded the cooler back into the limosine and proceeded out of the little Nowheres-Ville in which they had their impromptu lunch. About a mile out of the town, they finally happened upon a roadside stop. After hours of hapless travelling without respite, the poor driver announced to Winky, "Hey, there's a roadside stop." Upon seeing the sign on the side of the road, Winky shot back, "OH SHIT AND SHOVE IT!"
Frank first had a check engine light. Then he got a brake light. Then an alternator light and an oli light. When the seat belt light went on, he got out, put a brick on the gas pedal, reached through the window and dropped the lever into "Drive". As the car squealed off the cliff, he yelled after it, "SHIT AND SHOVE IT".
by frank klaune April 18, 2005
Another common Tomism with humorous implications, "drug monster" refers to a person whose personality is higly changeable through use of drugs. It also refers to one who uses a large quantity of drugs and implies a dependence on such drugs.
Frank took a speedball, two hits off the bong, an LSD cube and a 'lude. Man, he is one drug monster!
by frank klaune February 13, 2005
The highly-underrated, sadly misunderstood, less-well-known stand-in for the popular super-hero, Batman. Shatman, dressed in a toilet tissue cape was conspicuous by the plunger hanging from his utility belt, and led his civilian life as an innocuous, janitor with tourettes syndrome, horn rimmed glasses and voyeuristic tendencies named "Floyd Furpkin". The writers for the comic series used weak plots and suggestive themes and the general public was not amused with such episodes as "exploding toilet mayhem" and "exlax world submission" and thus the series was cancelled in it's first season, relegating Shatman sadly to a lifetime of widely acclaimed obscurity.
SHATMANNNN... da-da-da-da-da-da-da... SHATMANNN... da-da-da-da-da-da-da... SHATMANNN!
by frank klaune December 1, 2003
General term pertaining to any of a wide number of comical vulgarities, invented insults and mismangulated obscenities and curses made famous by a certain Tom K. (last name omitted)
"Oh, you MOTHER!"
"You FUCKNOB!"
(insert name) "...has an I.Q. of a peanut butter sandwich"
"sons-of-bastages"
"Cancel Christmas forever"
"butt buddy bubba with the burlap balls"
"rump ridin' ridge runner"
"You FUCKNOB!"
(insert name) "...has an I.Q. of a peanut butter sandwich"
"sons-of-bastages"
"Cancel Christmas forever"
"butt buddy bubba with the burlap balls"
"rump ridin' ridge runner"
by frank klaune November 7, 2003
Excessively moist excrement which causes occasional accidental releases of liquid shit in your shorts. Commonly called the "Hershey Squirts", "the shits" or "the trots", "the squirts" are marked by the perceived need to pass a fart, and while attempting to fart, shitting one's drawers.
"I ate that damn crap they served up, and it was so greasy, that now I've got the squirts all night long."
by frank klaune March 6, 2004
Euphemism for the vomit. "Urf" is useable as a noun or verb and is directly synonymous with "ralph". Urf is a much more useful word as it best approximates the wretched sound of a person who is delivering street pizza by inverting their tummy.
Man, Frank was so screwed up on bourbon last night he stepped outside to urf. In the morning the neighbors smelled something nasty and saw the urf in the bird bath.
by frank klaune November 25, 2004
Phrase used in an extremely, utterly exasperating moment when no other execration will do. The phrase is best appreciated with one's temper at full steam, red in the face and at least one hand balled up in a fist, banging on something.
Chris was driving along 53rd, minding his own business when some dumbass in a pickup swerved out of the Convenience Store, blatantly cutting him off. When Chris hit the horn, the dumbass flipped him off. When they got to the intersection, Chris was red in the face and, with one hand banging on the steering wheel, he gestured "the bird" back at the dumbass while yelling, "FUCKIN' SUCK IT!"
by frank klaune April 22, 2005