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flappy dickwad's definitions

Pork Scotch Shades

Shades worn by fat old men who want people to think they're young and trendy. Also useful for hiding bags under the eyes of droopy-faced old miseries.
Good God, what's the old twat wearing now? First it was the ridiculous shorts and sandals. Now the dickhead's got Pork Scotch Shades on.
by Flappy Dickwad May 24, 2009
mugGet the Pork Scotch Shadesmug.

Break-Dancing Fred

A thick old twat who performed a geriatric break-dance on Britain's Got Talent whilst claiming benefits for being disabled.
Does the old dickhead think that the benefits people don't watch television?

But its Break-Dancing Fred! He's a poor old man and should be allowed to cheat the benefits system!
by Flappy Dickwad May 28, 2009
mugGet the Break-Dancing Fredmug.

Badman Place

A place you don't want to wake up in. This means different things to different people. To a fat security guard its a street full of Maltby lorries or a world without barbecues.
Who's the miserable bastard wearing the silly hat?

Its Pork Scotch. He's miserable cos he woke up in a Badman Place. Maltby lorries everywhere.
by Flappy Dickwad May 7, 2009
mugGet the Badman Placemug.

Maltby lorry

A good place to hide an illicit traffic cone. Therefore this is the most hated vehicle of little fat security guards who think they're the most important people in the world.
Why is Pork Scotch looking more miserable than usual?

He's just seen a Maltby lorry go past. Those things always give him nightmares.
by Flappy Dickwad May 7, 2009
mugGet the Maltby lorrymug.

Pork Scotch Pants

Disgusting tartan boxer shorts worn by boring old men and fat security guards. Usually unwashed and covered with shit stains.
Sweet Jesus what's that fat git wearing?

They're Pork Scotch pants. Vile aren't they?
by Flappy Dickwad May 5, 2009
mugGet the Pork Scotch Pantsmug.

Pork Scotch sandals

Crabby, disgusting sandals worn on the piggy trotters of little fat security guards who think its cool to holiday in South Africa.
Sweet Jesus. What's that little fat twat wearing on its filthy feet?

Pork Scotch sandals. He thinks they're cool because he's such a ridiculous moron.
by Flappy Dickwad May 7, 2009
mugGet the Pork Scotch sandalsmug.

Pensioner Pants

Baggy trousers worn by old people. The waist is usually elasticated because the wearer has arthritic fingers incapable of fastening buttons and zips. The decrepit bag-wearer always forgets to wash these repulsive garments which end up smelling like a Paki's toilet on a particularly bad day. Pensioner Pants are very popular with obese, long-past-it security guards who bore you to death with tales of their holidays in South Africa.
Good God! Look at Pork Scotch! What's the old twat wearing now?

They're his Pensioner Pants. Had them since 1973 and never washed them.
by Flappy Dickwad June 3, 2009
mugGet the Pensioner Pantsmug.

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