failure33object's definitions

kraken

a huge killer dragon beast that lives in the sea, possibly Godzilla's father. according to folklore the kraken was originally someones pet gecko and that person angered the God's by peeing in the village fountain, so Zeus made his pet gecko grow to around 60 metres high and ordered it to kill him. alternate sources say it got trapped in a greenhouse. starred in the film "Clash Of The Titans".

The Kraken: "WRAAAARGH!"
Perseus: "leave me alone you big spastic lizard!"
The Kraken: "BY ORDER OF ZEUS I MUST KILL!!"
*Perseus stabs the Kraken in the eye*
The Kraken: "OOOW! YOU LITTLE SOD!"

by failure33object April 26, 2005

cool spot

a plastic drinks-container lid who was the star of several video games in the early 90's. Cool Spot's main pleasure in life was hanging out at the beach and freeing his friends from cages. notable adventures include a trip to Hollywood and his trip to a drug rehab clinic. it is debatable as to whether Cool Spot is:
(a) a drink-container lid
(b) a checker
(c) a tiddly wink

"the reddest plastic drink container lid to get his own video game" Rob McLean, Cool Spot fanatic

by failure33object April 25, 2005

saint jackolas

a devious one, most likely to be found on a checkers board protecting Sir Blanket of Neverland. not a very good guard in fact, as the scent of small children (male more likely) will easily lead him astray. will corner anyone he can and ply them with Jesus Juice.

"an angry bugger, always up for a chase, and never leaves without his prize" - Rob McLean

by failure33object April 22, 2005

electtrivia

a form of musical escapism invented by the mystery that is Jethry Benadine. consists of off-key drum beats and severe battering of guitars. overexposure will result in blindness and/or deafness.

electtrivia - a big deathly cocktail of conflicting noise.

by failure33object April 30, 2005

jethry benadine

jethry benadine is a legend in the true sense of the meaning. he is known as the man responsible for putting the 5th string on the banjo and is also credited with creating fruity penny chews. he was born under the zodiac sign scorpio in 1908 in a bath.

"jethry benadine is a genius for coming up with that 5th string idea" - tom jones
"jethry where have you gone" - song by banjo-kazooie

by failure33object April 16, 2005