33 definitions by failure33object

ribena

best drink ever. red in colour, sweet in taste, glorious in all it's glory. preferred tipple of one Rob McLean and occasional pick-me-up for a certain Jim Bowen. made by little creatures that resemble living black currants.
pronounced: rie-bee-ner

Jim- "Whoa Rob, where's the Ribena?"
Rob- "Dude, where's my Ribena!?"

by failure33object April 18, 2005

marc bolan

a 20th century superstar, glam rock elfin legend and all-round cool dude with corkscrew hair. main man of t rex, one of the best bands ever in the world, singing songs about wizards, pixies and dancing. died when his mini was driven into a tree by his tit of a fiance/wife.

"sat with a cat, on your head alone at last, you cry with a sigh, resurrecting all your past,
life's an elevator, it goes up and down,
life's an elevator, can't you dig the sound,
swift is the kill, shadows fill the empty walls, wild is the word, that engulfs love's sacred halls,
life's an elevator, it goes up and down,
life's an elevator, can't you dig the sound,
scenes from your past spread, before the flaming dawn, have faith in the hearts of the world they're rocking on,
life's an elevator, it goes up and down,
life's an elevator, can't you dig the sound"
LIFE'S AN ELEVATOR BY MARC BOLAN

by failure33object April 24, 2005

aerials

a superb song by System of a Down. with such awesome words like: "life is a waterfall, we're one in the river and one again after the fall" and "we drink from the river then we turn around and put up our walls" this song is an appropriate (water-based) take on life. and with a music video featuring people who seem to have been left in a wind tunnel overnight, who's to argue that this is a stone-cold classic.

"we are the ones who wanna play, always wanna win but ya never wanna lose"

by failure33object April 24, 2005

kraken

a huge killer dragon beast that lives in the sea, possibly Godzilla's father. according to folklore the kraken was originally someones pet gecko and that person angered the God's by peeing in the village fountain, so Zeus made his pet gecko grow to around 60 metres high and ordered it to kill him. alternate sources say it got trapped in a greenhouse. starred in the film "Clash Of The Titans".

The Kraken: "WRAAAARGH!"
Perseus: "leave me alone you big spastic lizard!"
The Kraken: "BY ORDER OF ZEUS I MUST KILL!!"
*Perseus stabs the Kraken in the eye*
The Kraken: "OOOW! YOU LITTLE SOD!"

by failure33object April 26, 2005

henry the 8th

a man of wealth and taste. was married to more people than he could count. so he killed each one of them. killed more people than AIDS ever will. owner of a particularly cool beard, also created the song greensleeves and was a founding father of the UCHaI (union of checkers heroes and icons). would have been a big fan of kfc popcorn chicken

Henry - "oi, peasant, where's moi woif?"
Peasant - "i don't know sir..."
Henry - "HANG THIS FOOL!"
Aide - "sir he didn't commit a crime."
Henry "GET BENT!! YOU DIE TOO!!!"

by failure33object April 24, 2005

bobby dazzler

phrase invented by david dickinson to describe anything worth describing. can give fame to anything once said... an antique, a checkers player, a KFC meal, a sock. no-one knows who the real man bobby dazzler is, possibly he is jesus or the triple d in cognito.

"wow that kfc popcorn chicken was a bobby dazzler, let me tell you!"
"yep, it'd make the duke proud!"

by failure33object April 23, 2005

winston churchill

the man! ceegar-chomping, country-beating, Hitler-dominating badass! the man who saved Britain from a future of camp haircuts and rotten food. and possible buggery. a very tough man who could stand up to anyone and scare them off.

the scene: a dinner party.
*Winston C farts loudly*
Aggrieved Gent: "How dare you pass wind in front of my wife!"
Winst: "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was her turn."

by failure33object April 24, 2005