failure33object's definitions

uber-jacko

short for uber-Jackolas. a demonic resurrection of Saint Jackolas after he has died. uber-Jacko has uber-Jesus Juice which contains the extra ingredient of peppermint and a dash of pure oxygen. more of a danger to the youth population than measles and meningitis combined.

"capable of winning any checkers game, no matter how many opponents" - Rob McLean, uber-Jacko victim

by failure33object April 26, 2005

half pincer

an intricate play used in games such as American football, hockey and checkers. involves forming an enclosure around a player to force him/her into submission. favoured by Mrs. Doubtfire, transvestite nanny, and Saint Jackolas, checkers icon.

St. Jackolas "man, check my badass half-pincer on Macaulay, Mrs. D!"
Mrs. Doubtfire "ooh very nice dear!"
Macaulay "please let me go home now."

by failure33object April 23, 2005

wizard of oz

a nutcase who rules a magical land from behind a curtain, despite being only 1.9 foot tall. often seen fighting with Toto. well known for being a roght miserable git. and also owner of a hot air balloon.

Wizard: "Toto give me back that sausage!"
Toto: *runs off with sausage*
Wizard: "you little bastard!!"

by failure33object April 18, 2005

kraken

a huge killer dragon beast that lives in the sea, possibly Godzilla's father. according to folklore the kraken was originally someones pet gecko and that person angered the God's by peeing in the village fountain, so Zeus made his pet gecko grow to around 60 metres high and ordered it to kill him. alternate sources say it got trapped in a greenhouse. starred in the film "Clash Of The Titans".

The Kraken: "WRAAAARGH!"
Perseus: "leave me alone you big spastic lizard!"
The Kraken: "BY ORDER OF ZEUS I MUST KILL!!"
*Perseus stabs the Kraken in the eye*
The Kraken: "OOOW! YOU LITTLE SOD!"

by failure33object April 26, 2005

the alcove

the best place in the universe. frequented daily for two whole years by Rob McLean and Jim Davies. a place of indescribable awesomeness, The Alcove is a small step, housed by a concrete alcove, perfectly built never to be tainted by sunlight.

"the coldest stone on earth"
"the only place where phil tranters filthy hands cannot reach in the grounds of hereford sixth form" - Rob McLean

by failure33object April 22, 2005

cool spot

a plastic drinks-container lid who was the star of several video games in the early 90's. Cool Spot's main pleasure in life was hanging out at the beach and freeing his friends from cages. notable adventures include a trip to Hollywood and his trip to a drug rehab clinic. it is debatable as to whether Cool Spot is:
(a) a drink-container lid
(b) a checker
(c) a tiddly wink

"the reddest plastic drink container lid to get his own video game" Rob McLean, Cool Spot fanatic

by failure33object April 25, 2005

invitre

a popular alternative to the boring "invite", this is often used to lure someone into a game of checkers as they are powerless to resist its Pied Piper-like effect. created by Rob McLean on a rainy day.

"if there is a better alternative to invite, i'd like to see it!" - Rob McLean

by failure33object April 26, 2005