failure33object's definitions

half pincer

an intricate play used in games such as American football, hockey and checkers. involves forming an enclosure around a player to force him/her into submission. favoured by Mrs. Doubtfire, transvestite nanny, and Saint Jackolas, checkers icon.

St. Jackolas "man, check my badass half-pincer on Macaulay, Mrs. D!"
Mrs. Doubtfire "ooh very nice dear!"
Macaulay "please let me go home now."

by failure33object April 23, 2005

wizard of oz

a nutcase who rules a magical land from behind a curtain, despite being only 1.9 foot tall. often seen fighting with Toto. well known for being a roght miserable git. and also owner of a hot air balloon.

Wizard: "Toto give me back that sausage!"
Toto: *runs off with sausage*
Wizard: "you little bastard!!"

by failure33object April 18, 2005

saint jackolas

a devious one, most likely to be found on a checkers board protecting Sir Blanket of Neverland. not a very good guard in fact, as the scent of small children (male more likely) will easily lead him astray. will corner anyone he can and ply them with Jesus Juice.

"an angry bugger, always up for a chase, and never leaves without his prize" - Rob McLean

by failure33object April 22, 2005

electtrivia

a form of musical escapism invented by the mystery that is Jethry Benadine. consists of off-key drum beats and severe battering of guitars. overexposure will result in blindness and/or deafness.

electtrivia - a big deathly cocktail of conflicting noise.

by failure33object April 30, 2005

peter kay

when disguised as Brian Potter, Max or Pady, this man is funny. when being Peter Kay he is simply a smug, Amarillo-miming tosspiece. constantly sweating, Kay's head and face are always shining like a little sweat beacon. although i hate the man, some of the stuff he has written is funny. see below...

"3995? call it 4 grand!"
"can y'ear me know?!"
"jerry 'the berry'... berry!"

by failure33object April 24, 2005

bulbasaur

Alan Titmarch's worst nightmare, a plant which walks and can shoot razor leaves. also has the ability to whip folk with seeds. spotted frequently in Swansea, where he grows to enormous size due to the colossal amount of rain. his best attributes are his massive head. eats candy and mince beef.

most likely to say: "bulba, bulba!"
least likely to say: "what the blazes is that yellow mouse squawking for?"

by failure33object April 19, 2005

kraken

a huge killer dragon beast that lives in the sea, possibly Godzilla's father. according to folklore the kraken was originally someones pet gecko and that person angered the God's by peeing in the village fountain, so Zeus made his pet gecko grow to around 60 metres high and ordered it to kill him. alternate sources say it got trapped in a greenhouse. starred in the film "Clash Of The Titans".

The Kraken: "WRAAAARGH!"
Perseus: "leave me alone you big spastic lizard!"
The Kraken: "BY ORDER OF ZEUS I MUST KILL!!"
*Perseus stabs the Kraken in the eye*
The Kraken: "OOOW! YOU LITTLE SOD!"

by failure33object April 26, 2005