5 definitions by etaN retsaM

People who are, for the most part, butthurt over LeBron James going to Miami because he wants to win an NBA championship, unlike in Cleveland where the LeBron James -- I mean the Cavaliers were never good enough to win. They like to get drunk and do retarded things, because that's what those retarded, non-LeBron James fans do.

It all started when King James revealed he was going to play for the Miami Heat in his absolutely necessary King James version hour-long press conference. Cleveland sports fans responded by getting drunk and talking to cameramen about how betrayed they felt by King James, how King James was scum, and how they wish King James and the actually talented Miami Heat would never win the NBA championship while King James was part of the team. They then moved on to throwing their #23 LeBron James jersey replicas in a fire.

Some weeks later, a non-retarded Cleveland sports fan wore a Miami Heat jersey to an Indians game. Of course it was a LeBron James jersey. Out of their hatred for LeBron James and their new hatred for the Miami Heat, their dumb, drunk asses heckled the completely innocent man/LeBron James fan who was eventually escorted out of the stadium. If Cleveland sports fans weren't so butthurt over LeBron James leaving or retarded, this incident would not have taken place. No wonder LeBron James left.
Bill: Why are so many Cleveland sports fans so drunk, butthurt, and retarded?

Ted: It was a combination of their parents drinking while they were still in the womb, and a missing chromosome that does not allow their IQ to go past 70.

Bill: Ah, I see. I guess the guy in the Miami Heat jersey was not one of those idiots?

Ted: Correct sir, he is one of the few living Cleveland sports fans that can actually perform adequately in real-life situations.

Me: I hope this definition pisses off every one of them.

Bill: I noticed typed LeBron James and/or his nicknames 17 times in your definition. Could it possibly be a reference to his press conference, where he spoke about himself in the third-person for much of the time?

Me: Correct again. Isn't it great to not be a Cleveland sports fan?

Ted: Indeed it is. At least being a birth defect it isn't contagious, so we never have to worry about becoming one.

Me: Also, now with him gone their favorite team is going do suck ass for a while. I'm not a fan of him either, but you can't deny he is a great basketball player.
by etaN retsaM August 06, 2010
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One of the best racing games for the Nintendo 64. Sure, the system didn't have many good ones, but this would have been good on any console. You race around with the new Beetle model on kickass racetracks. So many shortcuts to take, and tons of glitches to mess around with such as spinning your car out of Mount Mayhem. Multiplayer was good too.
Now that I have the Police Beetle, I can stop the AI cars and smash them when I hit them. The Alien Beetle looks the coolest though. Damn, Beetle Adventure Racing is so rad.
by etaN retsaM March 27, 2008
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My personal favorite guitarist ever. Rolling Stone put him #1 on their list, "100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time". Could not read music yet played like he'd had lessons since the first day of his life. I'd like to know, how the hell is he overrated, and not the best guitarist ever?

Some complaints against him:

1. He was limited to the blues and a 4/4 time frame.
a. Sure his songs all had that time frame, but if you think he was limited to the blues than you're a fucking douche. He had rock songs, blues songs, and psychadelic songs. So yeah, more than blues.

2. He plays very sloppy guitar.
a. Think again, dumbass. Recording technology back then didn't allow him the same clarity as bands in later decades, so the music occasionally sounded like crap. But the man himself played neatly.

3. Jimi can't play very fast, nor does he have good techniques.
a. One person wrote that he played the same scales and keys all the time. Wrong, he had great variety. And bullshit that he can't play fast, just listen to the alternate recording of Spanish Castle Magic for some fast stuff. Besides, speed isn't everything otherwise DragonForce would be the best band, right?

4. He's not the greatest guitarist ever, many have surpassed his skill.
a. Such idiotic words. He hadn't played guitar for very long, couldn't read or write music, made amazing solos and riffs on the spot, and kicked everyone's ass. How many others can say the same thing? Oh, zero. Because he does kick everyone's ass. No one is better, not Malmsteen, Vai, Satriani, Slash, Van Halen, Page; not anyone. He beats the shit out of them all.

5. ur a fag for likin him! Jimi suxx ballz! u stupid gay queer homo!!!1!1!!11!!!!
a. Okay, nobody's said this (that I know of).
Zeppelin Listener: "Jimmy plays such great guitar, he's the best ever man."

Hendrix Listener: "I know, I just heard "All Along the Watchtower and it blew my mind."

ZL: "No, dumbfuck. I mean Jimmy Page. Hendrix is good but not the best."

HL: "You ever heard much Hendrix before?"

ZL: "No."

One hour later...

Converted ZL: "Holy shit was I wrong. Jimi is the fucking man."

HL: "Dur."

Emo: *Cries* "You don't even know what good music is, motherfuckers!" *Slits wrist* "You should listen to bands like Silverstein! Their screamo fills me up with hate and pain yet it feels so good!"

CZL & HL: "Shut the fuck up you damn emo!"

Emo: "Leave Britney alone!" *Commits Suicide*

Gangsta: "Yo, mothafuckaz. Why you frontin' yo' wack-ass skillz? I'm gon' bus' a cap in yo' azz!"

Jimi Hendrix: *Regenerates and plays Voodoo Child solo*

Gangsta: *Head Explodes*

Most of this was a lame attempt at humor. If you find it at all funny than I seriously don't know what to say. The definition's a bit better though.
by etaN retsaM March 27, 2008
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When a man gets urinated on by his gay lover, he becomes a golden queer.
I heard David Bowie's song "Golden Years" and was inspired to make a definition called golden queer, since queer rhymes with year.

Golden queers, golden queers,
These men got pissed on and now they're, golden queers.
by etaN retsaM May 21, 2011
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A huge dog that people let get overweight. If it can stand up then nobody will ever break into your house.
Qwerty: "My dad has a friend with a fatty mc fat fat fatty fat dog fat."

Asdf: "Holy shit, can it walk?"

Qwerty: "No, so he has to get carried up the stairs to the house. He's really nice though."
by etaN retsaM March 27, 2008
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