esmith512's definitions

you can't polish a turd

unconvincingly attempt to make an irreconcilably bad situation look good.

They're trying to portray the poor financial reports as positive, but you can't polish a turd.

by esmith512 April 21, 2007

Bushzarro

A word widely coined in journalistic circles to describe the mutually opposite words and actions over time, redefinition of various terms into their opposites, and generally confusingly self-contradictory behavior of the Bush Administration. Derived from Bizarro and Bizarroworld.

In Bushzarro world, up is down, white is black, mass murder is democracy, truthiness is lies, left is right, and right is wrong.

by esmith512 January 17, 2008

piss bug

A decal or other marker on a urinal indicating the best place to aim your urine stream.

I went to use a few bathrooms where they have these happy, funny little piss bugs in the urinals.

by esmith512 January 30, 2008

bachelorism

A prudent, sensible, and wise life-enabling decision to remain single, remain a first class citizen, enjoy relatively high degrees of personal freedom, prosperity, and self-determination, and avoid a very expensive, dangerous, hostile, abusive, deeply exploitive, oppressive, and life-crushing enslaving marriage and the unjustly deeply anti-male legal system in the likely, arbitrary, possibly unpredictable, and life-crippling divorce.

Bachelorism means retaining your full civil rights and first class citizenship, personal dignity and self-respect. Bachelorism means never being in fear or experiencing the actual or the constant threat of emotional and physical abuse and arbitary and unjust arrest, homelessness, imprisonment, ruin, and indentured servitude at your wife's sole discretion (regardless of your kind character or behavior) without legal protection, recourse, or respect; it also means complete self-determination, freedom to enjoy your life as you wish on your own terms, and generally greater opportunity and personal prosperity in life. Bachelorism is the clear freedom from the exploitation and sacrificing of a used, disposable man's life for the unilateral entertainment and profit an ever-expectant, hateful, greedy, self-indulgent, entitlement- and luxury-obsessed and sneeringly and derisively nonrecripricatory, ulterior, incipidly disrespecting vicious wife. To men, marrying women in the current social, cultural, and legal environment is unhealthy, oppressive, and physically, psychologically, and legally dangerous. Bachelorism is relatively freedom-ensuring, sane, safe, and financially, legally, and personally healthy. Bachelorism is to respect yourself and retain your human rights.

by esmith512 January 27, 2008

Wallyball

A game of volleyball played over a border wall, often a fortified border between countries.

I've heard they've got some pretty good wallyball games at the Mexican-American border!

by esmith512 December 27, 2007