A 15th century relaxation seat, used to force people to adhere to the churches teachings, by forcing 1 1/4 inch brass tacks across the entire back half of the body. The nails are sterilized after each use...with a hose. Can nowadays be found on cruise ship decks, in luxury high rise apartments, discerning golf clubhouse lounges, and as seats in high end private jets owned by bankers/criminals. Has mainly become a luxury item, affordable only by well to do yuppies, due to its ability to relax and revitalize in just under a fortnight.
The chair of nails is useful in many ways. The chair of nails cured me of my tuberculosis, and gave me horrific reoccuring nightmares. I reccomend the junior model, which can be used on children ages 3-12, with included restraints, and gravity feed bloodbucket. Believe me your children will never forgive you if you fail to purchase one, and subsequently force them to use it.
by ellsworthtoohey August 07, 2011
Get the the chair of nails mug.The act of burger procurement via the window of giving and recieving, around the corner from the talking wall of all knowing, all while in the viscinity of Southern Europe aka under las influenzias de mota/afterspice.
The big fat clown of minnesota will crush your hood using his gargantuan stomping boots, if you attempt to go from the talking wall of all knowing to the window of giving and recieving, while stone macdonaling in reverse. Afterwards, the Ped King will feast on your remains.
by ellsworthtoohey August 25, 2011
Get the stone macdonaling mug.A general paesana of interest, regarded as one of the founding fathers of the not so democratic republic of congo.
Hails from an Spanish/Italian family and is survived by his liquid based sister kit-kat, who is one of the worlds foremost experts in aerospace engineering. His ancestry is questionable at best, and his childhood is shrouded in mystery. Some believe him to be descended from a long line of peasants. Some believe he has a life sized golden beluga whale statue on his roof gazebo, but needless to say, his garden could use improvement. One indisputible fact the CIA has been able to uncover is his inherent yiddishness, which causes him to sit in the synagogue all fucking day, staring straight ahead, and not saying a fucking word until the sun rises on the sabbath. He calls it Yom Kippur Another interesting fact is the big long hairs on top of his head, which he feeds indirectly into the running fanbelt. When the echo of a distant time comes willowing across the sand, broccoli rob is overpowered by an unrelenting force, directly. I always said he'd come to no good in the end, your honor. If they had let me have my way i would have flayed him into shape, but my hands were tied, and the bleeding hearts of artists allowed him to get away with murder, and I would be delighted to hammer him into the ground today.
Hails from an Spanish/Italian family and is survived by his liquid based sister kit-kat, who is one of the worlds foremost experts in aerospace engineering. His ancestry is questionable at best, and his childhood is shrouded in mystery. Some believe him to be descended from a long line of peasants. Some believe he has a life sized golden beluga whale statue on his roof gazebo, but needless to say, his garden could use improvement. One indisputible fact the CIA has been able to uncover is his inherent yiddishness, which causes him to sit in the synagogue all fucking day, staring straight ahead, and not saying a fucking word until the sun rises on the sabbath. He calls it Yom Kippur Another interesting fact is the big long hairs on top of his head, which he feeds indirectly into the running fanbelt. When the echo of a distant time comes willowing across the sand, broccoli rob is overpowered by an unrelenting force, directly. I always said he'd come to no good in the end, your honor. If they had let me have my way i would have flayed him into shape, but my hands were tied, and the bleeding hearts of artists allowed him to get away with murder, and I would be delighted to hammer him into the ground today.
by ellsworthtoohey August 02, 2012
Get the Broccoli Rob mug.Bony Babs took an Extended Vacationism to Southern Europe, in which the terrific magma engulfed her entire body over the course of several seconds. That is the only redeeming trait all humans share..they die
by ellsworthtoohey August 05, 2014
Get the Extended Vacationism mug.C'est le grand morth pion. Il nourrit sur le nectar doux d'ampoule. Il a tendance à le faire d'humeur difficile. Le seul moyen pour tuer l'est d'éteindre la lumière. Toutefois, le morth pion du peut voler à une autre source légère.
by ellsworthtoohey August 07, 2011
Get the le morth pion mug.The feeling your mouthtongue gets when you eat well on the exotic promises of salt and vinegar chips against the gross wall of disgust located in the back of your ass-mouth and makes your tonsils spit the rancid spit-semon into your face-throat
KCLinda hasnt had a glandasm in years.
by ellsworthtoohey August 07, 2011
Get the glandasm mug.A truly remarkable feat of concentration and resonance, which has an effect of levitation a few feet above the attic, when 3 or more people join hands and produce the frequency that cannot be heard. A competent ground crew is recommended, particularly if one or more people in the group cannot be trusted to maintain absolute focus, in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds, to simply produce the specific frequency, and to conceal the position of the participants high above the attic, ideally in the lower stratosphere, if the harmonic resonance approaches the upper limits of sonic viability, without causing shockwaves.
The Hover would have worked , if Gahrsten VanVöchenstein listened to the experienced hovers, and stayed as part of the ground crew, so that Broccoli Rob would be unaware of the altitude we had achieved.
by ellsworthtoohey May 03, 2018
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