Definitions by ellsworthtoohey
stone macdonaling
The act of burger procurement via the window of giving and recieving, around the corner from the talking wall of all knowing, all while in the viscinity of Southern Europe aka under las influenzias de mota/afterspice.
The big fat clown of minnesota will crush your hood using his gargantuan stomping boots, if you attempt to go from the talking wall of all knowing to the window of giving and recieving, while stone macdonaling in reverse. Afterwards, the Ped King will feast on your remains.
stone macdonaling by ellsworthtoohey August 25, 2011
the beaver of giving
The Beaver of giving is a humanoid, rock-eating monster that dwells in the mountains. Despite his hulking, grotesque appearance, The Beaver is relatively peaceful. He is usually considered, perhaps superficially, to be of low intelligence, although there is no particular indication of this in the scriptures; in fact, there is evidence to the contrary, such as his ability to industrialize ahead of all the other races, in the Alfred Hitchcock film,"Oh Shit! We are all out of embalming fluid."
The Beaver of Giving is freed when you use the hammer of lazy to ground pound the tits off of the rusty floor diamond switch. He then gives you the stupid silver key of brussels, and tells zach's dad to get the fuck out of the house for a half hour, in the most polite way possible.
the beaver of giving by ellsworthtoohey August 23, 2011
the straw king
A highly trained, bilingual secret agent man made entirely of straw. Trained extensively in the field of extreme weather survival, covert operation, explosive weapon disarmament, long range sharpshooting, jungle survival, high speed precision driving, and witty comeback responses. The only way to appease this killing machine is to pay your respects to him by kissing him on the cheek. If due respect is not paid in full, upon time of arrival, you may find him at the foot of your bed at night...waiting to drag your soul to the underworld. Yeah, he specializes in that too.
the straw king by ellsworthtoohey August 7, 2011
the helium whorehouse
Where I fill my air compressor/weather baloon with helium, while killing the beast with a ceremonial knife.
the helium whorehouse by ellsworthtoohey August 7, 2011
the chair of nails
A 15th century relaxation seat, used to force people to adhere to the churches teachings, by forcing 1 1/4 inch brass tacks across the entire back half of the body. The nails are sterilized after each use...with a hose. Can nowadays be found on cruise ship decks, in luxury high rise apartments, discerning golf clubhouse lounges, and as seats in high end private jets owned by bankers/criminals. Has mainly become a luxury item, affordable only by well to do yuppies, due to its ability to relax and revitalize in just under a fortnight.
The chair of nails is useful in many ways. The chair of nails cured me of my tuberculosis, and gave me horrific reoccuring nightmares. I reccomend the junior model, which can be used on children ages 3-12, with included restraints, and gravity feed bloodbucket. Believe me your children will never forgive you if you fail to purchase one, and subsequently force them to use it.
the chair of nails by ellsworthtoohey August 7, 2011
glandasm
The feeling your mouthtongue gets when you eat well on the exotic promises of salt and vinegar chips against the gross wall of disgust located in the back of your ass-mouth and makes your tonsils spit the rancid spit-semon into your face-throat
KCLinda hasnt had a glandasm in years.
glandasm by ellsworthtoohey August 7, 2011
le morth pion
C'est le grand morth pion. Il nourrit sur le nectar doux d'ampoule. Il a tendance à le faire d'humeur difficile. Le seul moyen pour tuer l'est d'éteindre la lumière. Toutefois, le morth pion du peut voler à une autre source légère.
le morth pion by ellsworthtoohey August 7, 2011