Boxer shorts, y-fronts or briefs. Rhyming slang: Bill Grundies = undies. Used specifically for male lower underwear, never female lingerie. Bill Grundy was a famous British television presenter, mostly on news-magazine programmes.
I need some new bills, these are full of holes.
Implausibly large sprout. Quite scary.
That cabbage is looking at me, please make it stop.
Viewing any kind of sexually stimulating material (not necessarily illegal or even explicit) on the internet. In common use in northern England, and possibly elsewhere, this expression originates from pop musician Pete Townshend's explanation of why he gave his credit card details to a website containing visual depictions of children being sexually abused - that he wished to view the material for research purposes. Although the implication of the term is that Townshend was lying he was, in fact, cleared of all charges.
Sorry I didn't answer the phone, I was doing some Pete Townshend-style research.
In the UK a biddy (or, more commonly, an old biddy) is a person (particularly a woman) of around 55 or above.
Some old biddy got her purse stolen.
Don't go to the Red Lion, it's full of old biddies.
Really stupid sport played using a ball that isn't even ball shaped. There are two kinds of it but few people know or care what the difference is. Invented when a thick schoolboy picked up the ball and ran with it during a game of football. Because he was posh he didn't get his head kicked in, instead he was congratulated for inventing a new sport, which was named after the school he attended. I can honestly say I have never spoken to a single person with any interest in rugby.
If you think football is boring to watch, you should see rugby. Or, rather, you shouldn't.