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Definitions by brooskitooski

Hygiene Hiatus 

Not wanting to shave or shower for a short time. This usually occurs during 3 day holidays, as well as particularly during short stints of inclement weather.
Roger: Hey, Dave! How was your Present's Day holiday? You were off for 3 days, right?
Dave: Man, it was great! I watched a LOT of hockey, and the best part was not having to shave or shower during that time. Once in a while, you just have to let it all out and have a Hygiene Hiatus!
Hygiene Hiatus by brooskitooski February 20, 2021
Big Milker Titties. Breasts that are very big, and are most likely filled with lots of breast milk. A tit lover's dream!
Roger: Hey, Dave! Did you check out that new girl in chemistry class? She is HOT!
Dave: Oh, hell yeah! She has wonderful BMTs!
Roger: BMTs?
David: Big Milker Titties. I would give ANYTHING to suck on them!
BMTs by brooskitooski February 7, 2020

football orphan 

As likened to a football widow (i.e. a woman that does not like watching football, while her husband loves watching it), these children also do not like football, and are often found reading a LOT during football season
Roger: Hey, Dave! Did you go to Bryan's Superbowl party?
Dave: Yes, I did. Bryan had a good party, but his wife Gail wasn't there, as she and their son Dale went to the mall that day, instead.
Roger, They went to the mall, instead of watching the game? God, why?
Dave: Well, she and Dale don't really like football a lot. I guess they are the typical football widow and football orphan.
football orphan by brooskitooski February 5, 2020
Sparkling wine that is not very good at all. Shampagne is usually very cheap, not only in quality, but also in price.
Roger: Hey, Dave! How was Betty's New Year's Eve party?
Dave: It was OK, but the SHAMpagne she served was AWFUL! I'll bet the vintage of that crap was last Wednesday!!
SHAMpagne by brooskitooski January 1, 2020

sprinkler starter 

A VERY flamer gay! Taken from shortened "flamboyant" male homosexual (i.e. flamboyant, shortened to "flamer"). One who is SO gay, he could walk into a room, and because of his FLAMBOYant nature, he could set off the sprinklers.
Roger: Hey, Dave!! Did you know about Eloy? I found out he just came out of the closet!
Dave: Oh, come on, Roger! Eloy was SO gay, he could have set off the sprinklers when he entered the room. He just oozed of homosexuality. A complete flamer! A true sprinkler starter!
sprinkler starter by brooskitooski January 29, 2018

Laurel & Hearty 

Refers to a pair of girls, where one of them is thin (yet of marginal looks), while the other is a fat girl. The thinner, uglier girl pairs up with the fatter girl in order to make herself look better (that is, in the eyes of potential suitors). A reference to the classic comic duo of Laurel & Hardy, where there is a thin person (Laurel), while the other (Hardy) is bigger (in this case, owing to the heavier girth, it is corrupted to Hearty- like a hearty appetite).
(Roger and Dave, looking at two girls on the street, resembling the aforementioned above)

Roger: Hey, Dave. Look at those two girls. The skinny girl is kind of ugly. What is she doing hanging around with the fat girl?

Dave: Don't you know? It's a classic case of a Laurel & Hearty. Can't you see that the thin ugly girl is using the fat girl to make herself look better?

Bad CARma 

When driving in very heavy traffic, and you change lanes (with the anticipation of going faster), and you actually go slower. Bad CARma is usually exacerbated when you are in a hurry!
Roger: Man, this traffic is HORRIFIC! I changed lanes because I thought we would go faster, and we're going even slower! Look, even the 18 wheelers are passing us! We'll never get to the race on time!
Dave: Man, you have Bad CARma! All those times when you were drinking and driving (and you did not get caught), not signaling, and texting while driving are catching up to you now!
Bad CARma by brooskitooski June 27, 2017