boss hamilton's definitions

delco minute

A delco minute is the term used for the period of time from January 10th-February 1st every calendar year in Delaware County. In contrast to the popular term new york minute, a delco minute lasts much longer than a minute; for some, it seems to last a lifetime. The delco minute is the time period each winter when 8th graders throughout Delaware County are faced with the difficult choice of deciding which high school in the county to attend. For some, family finances dictate a need for public school. But for many other young people throughout the county, they must decide before the end of a delco minute whether or not to disgrace themselves by enrolling at an inter-ac school the next fall, or going the pure route of a Catholic Education. The delco minute ends when parents submit a deposit to a local private school, or fill out the paper work for public school. the months leading up to a delco minute can be very stressful for some; St. Joseph's Prep has become increasingly selective in recent years, and now rejects most applicants. This means that some kids are forced after January 10th to consider enrolling at inferior schools, such as Malvern Prep or Monsignor Bonner. When a student who could not get into the The Prep enrolls at Malvern, he is subsequently termed a J Crew Catholic.

It is January 10th, and I have received all my high school acceptance letters. The delco minute has formally begun, now I have to spend the rest of the month determining if I want to wear an inter-ac tuxedo or a delco tuxedo for the next four years. Since I am a Hohenzollern fascist, I think I will enroll at the Haverford School and try to get plowed in the ass for the next four years.

by boss hamilton October 24, 2011

delco sunday best

A style of dress popularized in Delaware County Pennsylvania. Scholars have long argued over the precise date of the creation of the Delco Tuxedo, but most maintain that it originated on Sunday, January 27th, 2002 at the St. Laurence 8:30 am mass. With the Philadelphia Eagles playing in their first NFC championship game since 1981, thousands of Delco's sons piled into alters throughout the county, in hopes that keeping holy the Sabbath would propel the Eagles to a victory. Since the Eagles were playing an away game, mass attendance rates were significantly higher than was normal. Congregations throughout the county were noted as being "smellier, greener, and scummier than normal" by then Cardinal, Anthony Bevilacqua.

Auxiliary Bishop Joseph McFadden, who presided over the 9:30 AM mass at Holy Cross in Springfield noted: "Never in my life have I seen so many Brian Dawkins jerseys atop gray Dan Algeo Cardinal O'Hara Football Hoodies and loose fitting denim jeans. And while not every member of the congregation was wearing a Dawkins jersey, every adult male had Timberland Boots adorning his feet."

Algeo might wear a COHS hoodie and headset on Friday night, a Penn State Football KKK whiteout suit on Saturday afternoon, but on Sunday, he puts on his his delco sunday best and honors the Eagles with Timbs, jeans, a hoodie, beer, and of course the jersey of whatever defensive player takes the most cheap shots during the course of the game.

by boss hamilton January 24, 2011

BPike Wardrobe

The BPike wardrobe is a collection of clothes that diehard Eagles and Phillies fans throughout the Delaware Valley assemble to express their undying love for hate, hustle, and heart on the baseball and football fields. Wardrobe essentials include the following:

Shoes: Air Force 1s, every shoe ever made by the Jordan Brand (some carryover here with an Inter-Ac Tuxedo).

Socks: Foreman Mills Crew Socks, or TekGear 10 pack from Kohls

Shorts: Jorts or Kensington Jizz Rag

Belt: HA!

Shirt: The main attraction. Includes the following necessities to provide the most options: Dawkins Home Jersey, Dawkins away jersey, Utley home Jersey, Utley away jersey, Utley 1980s throwback jersey, Utley batting practice jersey, Utley T-Shirt, World F-cking Champs T-Shirt, World F-cking Champs Long Sleeve T-Shirt, Utley World Baseball Classic Jersey, Utley Sleeveless Home Jersey

Undershirt: Beaters from Ross or T.J. Max

Tie: HA!

Hat: Flat Brim. Black. Phillies or Eagles. Turned backwards.

Check out Mac across the street in the flat brim Birds hat, Jordan 8s, and the World F-cking Champs Limited Edition T-Shirt. Christ, he might have the most swaggy BPike Wardrobe in the history of swag.

by boss hamilton August 15, 2012