benny twadge's definitions
The legendary drivers of Maltby lorries who display Pork Scotch's cone in the back in order to taunt important security guards and provide amusement to everyone else. Otherwise known as comic geniuses.
Flobule: Look Dad, the cone's still there! Why don't they take it out?
Dad: Because they're heroes, son. Maltby heroes.
Dad: Because they're heroes, son. Maltby heroes.
by Benny Twadge May 18, 2009
Get the Maltby Heroesmug. Fried chicken and rice and pea. These food items are never paid for, always stolen, because as everyone knows "chimp no need pay mon".
Chimp in takeaway: me wan' fried chicken and rice and pea mon.
Assistant: One portion of Chimp Food? That will be £4.50 please.
Chimp (before running away): chimp no need pay mon.
Assistant: One portion of Chimp Food? That will be £4.50 please.
Chimp (before running away): chimp no need pay mon.
by Benny Twadge May 18, 2009
Get the Chimp Foodmug. Alternative name for the Pork Scotch Van or half-car after a huge frozen dump was put on the roof of it. The crap thawed out overnight and was nicely baking in the sun the next day before the Scotchers emerged for their daily jaunt to buy barbecue food. Scotchy didn't spot it at first so he drove round with a turd just a few inches from his fat bald koala head.
Bloody hell what's that I can smell?
That'll be Scotchy's Shit-Wagon. He still hasn't persuaded Goofy Granny to clean it off.
Filthy old bastard.
That'll be Scotchy's Shit-Wagon. He still hasn't persuaded Goofy Granny to clean it off.
Filthy old bastard.
by Benny Twadge August 22, 2009
Get the Scotchy's Shit-Wagonmug. A 7-foot tall cretin with giant, flapping tabs. A mentally retarded twat that can eat 3 fried pigs for breakfast and is therefore detested by its grandfather's wife, who takes the piss out of its ridiculous crash-helmet hairstyle.
Why is there nothing in the fridge, Trace?
We've had a visit from Bullivant. It was hungry after its 3-pig breakfast.
We've had a visit from Bullivant. It was hungry after its 3-pig breakfast.
by Benny Twadge May 3, 2009
Get the Bullivantmug. What's the name of that Jamaican wrestler with the mop on his head?
That's Kofi Kingston and he's no Jamaican. He's from Ghana, which is only about 5,000 miles from Jamaica.
That's Kofi Kingston and he's no Jamaican. He's from Ghana, which is only about 5,000 miles from Jamaica.
by Benny Twadge May 4, 2009
Get the Kofi Kingstonmug. A short, stocky man with a shaved head. Close to pensionable age but believes himself to be young and with-it. Drives a small white van. He thinks its cool to cook food outside with his drag-act "girlfriend", believing that sharing a garlic bread at a green plastic table is all that is required for a barbecue. Also known as Mr Boring, Mr Ugly and The Arsehole.
Pork Scotch is a total twat
Its gay to wear a buffalo hat
Your girlfriend's really a man in drag
Your boring face makes people gag
Its gay to wear a buffalo hat
Your girlfriend's really a man in drag
Your boring face makes people gag
by Benny Twadge April 18, 2009
Get the Pork Scotchmug. A variety of chimp which has mastered the rudiments of speech. These creatures inhabit urban areas, attracted to cities by burger bars such as McDonald's. They can be trained to drive motor vehicles, which they frequently steal. Also known as nignogs.
My car's been nicked!
Must've been a talking chimp. There are thousands around here. Blame McDonald's.
Must've been a talking chimp. There are thousands around here. Blame McDonald's.
by Benny Twadge April 27, 2009
Get the talking chimpmug.