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al benedict's definitions

Scottish Food

Macdonalds food for when you want to avoid admitting you ate at Macdonalds.
Bob: What did you have for dinner?
Bill: Scottish food.
Bob: Sounds delicious. Haggis?
Bill: No. They have this dish where the put different round slices of a specially processed beef inside pieces of bread with an orangy, pinky sauce. Then they take potatoes and cut them up into long thin pieces and cook them in a specially prepared oil bath.
Bob: Sounds delicious! Invite me next time.
by Al Benedict July 29, 2013
mugGet the Scottish Foodmug.

Spamburst

When your email address is chosen as the lucky winner in the contest held by a spammer to determine which email address will be used for the day's, ahem, First Amendment protected free commercial speech. The end results is hundreds if not thousands of bounced messages.
I probably got your message. It just got caught in a spamburst yesterday.
by Al Benedict October 1, 2008
mugGet the Spamburstmug.

Frisco

Term used to identify recent arrivals to upper class areas in San Francisco nervous that they don't fit in.

Do they freak out and correct you when you use it? You've found a newbie.
Bob: "Nice weather for Frisco"
Bill: "Never call it Frisco! It's an insult! Only people that aren't from around here use the term!"
Bob: "How long have you lived here?"
Bill: "Three years. More than enough to be a local."
by Al Benedict September 17, 2013
mugGet the Friscomug.

Common Sense

A phrase used by someone who wants any critical analysis of what they are saying to stop immediately.
"Global warming can't exist because it was cold last winter. That's just common sense."
by Al Benedict June 11, 2009
mugGet the Common Sensemug.

bring the nuke

Resort to extreme measures. A metaphor for putting aside conventional weapons and using nuclear ones.
"They aren't taking the hint? OK, time to bring the nuke and tell them to cut it out or we'll drag them off the premises."
by Al Benedict January 15, 2022
mugGet the bring the nukemug.

Tuvan Phone Call

A phone call in which you choose your words carefully in an attempt to maintain a coherent conversation with the person on the end of the line while giving a completely different impression of what the conversation is about to anyone standing next to you. Usually involves more than the usual number of pronouns.

From "Tuvan Throat Singing", where you sing two different notes at once.
I had a Tuvan Phone Call last night with my girlfriend. We went on for half an hour and my Grandma had no idea we were having phone sex.
by Al Benedict April 17, 2010
mugGet the Tuvan Phone Callmug.

Airbagging with the kid

Driving a car with a small child in your lap. In the event of an accident, the child's body will help protect you from injury by cushioning the blow between yourself and the steering wheel.
Bob: Should you be talking on your cellphone while you're driving?
Bill: Relax, I'm Airbagging with the kid. Even if I hit something, I'll be fine.
by Al Benedict April 15, 2008
mugGet the Airbagging with the kidmug.

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