Xyzzy's definitions

ramen

Japanese instant noodles which come in cup or block form, popular with college students (who can't afford anything else) and otaku (who just like anything Japanese). As a connoisseur of cheap DIY meals, I've developed means of assigning ramen a rating on a scale of zero to four stars: One half-star for every flavor packet beyond the first, one star if it comes in its own cup, an extra half star if that comes with its own meat or vegetables, and a star and a half if the dry noodles don't remind me of Play-Doh.

Ramen's not as good as lo mein, but I got it at 1/40 the price the Jade Dragon was charging.

by Xyzzy June 5, 2005

Oedipus

A guy who accidentally killed his father and married his mother, not knowing who they were. Similarly, a man who hates his father and is too attached to his mother.

That mofo is one sick Oedipus.

by xyzzy April 24, 2005

cwm

a bowl-shaped hollow at the end of a mountain valley. One of the three words in the English language with no A's, E's, I's, O's, U's, or Y's. The other two are crwth and mwg; all three are of Welsh origin. Also used to refer to female genitalia.

Fly by the cwm. Damn! I just used a vowel!

by xyzzy April 24, 2005

jump the shark

The moment when a show is no longer worth watching due to a very contrived episode. The term comes from the Happy Days Hawaii miniseries.

When did Voyager jump the shark?

A. Seven of Nine
B. The Year of Hell
C. Chakotay's vision quests
D. Day one

by Xyzzy May 4, 2005

bonify

To make authentic. Used by idiots who can't spell "bona fide".

"The artist's signature. Well, that bonifies it."
"You're an idiot."

by Xyzzy May 5, 2005

ignorami

Pseudo-intellectuals. So called because of their tendency to use stigmae, mandami, ignorami, omnibi, viri, operae, cauci, and other overuse of the "-us to -i, -a to -ae, -um to -a" classical rule.

If every word ending in -us becomes -i, is the plural of bus bi?

by Xyzzy May 5, 2005

Axis of Evil

A speech which proves Bush's mental condition is approximately the same as John_-_Winston, John Grubor, Steve Hayes, Robert Ghostwolf, Archimedes Plutonium, Alexander Abian, Ed Conrad, and a dozen other net.personalities made famous by their ability to post bullshit to more than SIXTY newsgroups at once.

Iran, Iraq, and North Korea? Couldn't he have picked someone like Burkina Faso who no one's ever heard of?

by Xyzzy September 21, 2004