Woody Thomas's definitions

loaded to the gunwales

very much under the influence of one or a variety of substances

Back in my wild days I was loaded to the gunwales every other night

by Woody Thomas April 14, 2006

prell

a vaginal fart, referenced in National Lampoon years ago

she let out a big ol' prell after I pulled out

by Woody Thomas January 5, 2006

dry as a powderhorn

Having no beer or other alcoholic beverages in one's possession

Tom: 'hey man, you got any beer at your place?'
Mike: 'uh-uh brother, I'm fuckin' dry as a powderhorn.'

by Woody Thomas July 29, 2008

sailor's handkerchief

when you blow snot out of your nose onto the ground because you don't have a kleenex or hanky to use.

The cold air made my nose run, so I did a sailor's handkerchief on the street.

by Woody Thomas September 13, 2008

urban myth

A bit of folklore widely beleived to be real but that never actually happened.

Examples:

The Babe Ruth "called shot" at Wrigley Field where he pointed to the centerfield scoreboard and then hit the next pitch there.

Zsa Zsa Gabor was on the Johnny Carson show with a cat on her lap and said 'Johnny, vood you like to pet my poo-see?'
To which he replied 'Sure, move the cat.'

Arnold Palmer's wife was on the Carson show and said that before every tournament, 'I kiss his (golf) balls for good luck,' and Johnny said, 'well I'll bet that makes his putter stand up.'

Richard Gere once went to an emergency room to have a gerbil removed from his ass.

Rod Stewart once had to have his stomach pumped due to swallowing an excessive amount of semen

Keith Richards went to Switzerland to have his blood replaced with new blood as an attempt to kick heroin

Jim Morrison flashed his dick at a concert in Miami

Ozzy Osbourne bit the head off a live bat

Wilt Chamberlain fucked over 20,000 women

Most urban myths are bullshit

by Woody Thomas January 2, 2009

Bob Probert

Generally regarded as the toughest fighter in the history of the National Hockey League. As notorious for his off-ice problems with alcohol and cocaine, and subsequent legal problems, as his on-ice beligerence

Bob Probert led the league with 398 penalty minutes.

by Woody Thomas January 8, 2006

The Chinaman

"Going to see the Chinaman" is African-American vernacular for going to get some Chinese take-out food.

I'm tired of McDonald's; let's go see the Chinaman tonight.

by Woody Thomas January 3, 2009