Chatty Emily

giggly, verbose forewoman in Georgia’s Special Purpose Grand Jury
Lou and Skyler turned on the evening news and ended up shouting at their screen. “why the ACTUAL fuck is this Emily person blabbing to multiple media outlets? #TFG is on-the-hook for felonies and she could be screwing things up. Chatty Emily might ratfuck everything in her 15 minutes”
by Uncle Joosie February 22, 2023
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cement gums

when your dental hygiene resembles Brett Kavanaugh's
jesus fucking christ Tim have you brushed lately? cuz you have visible brown teeth and cement gums
by Uncle Joosie September 26, 2018
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Performative Bible

criminal-mafia republicans tweeting pious garbage to distract from being terrible
Suzie was perusing Twitter and came across Kelly Loeffler's tweet from book of Matthew. "Wait isn't she the insider-trading gal?" she thought to herself. "My god these depraved republicans always do Performative Bible like we don't know they broke the law"
by Uncle Joosie December 28, 2020
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Jaden Has a Sad

media obsession with what upsets white kids
NBC Nightly News ran a segment about some asshole-teen in North Carolina not wanting to wear a mask at school. "some say masks are good; others say they're bad" the reporter noted. when Brenda heard that she rolled her eyes and said "aww, Jaden has a sad"
by Uncle Joosie December 01, 2021
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Not You Tulsi

often referred to on Twitter as #NotYouTulsi, Russian asset Tulsi Gabbard is a Putin fangirl and you can use Not You Tulsi in her mentions when she says something fucking stupid.
by Uncle Joosie April 01, 2022
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Baby needs a Benadryl

Betty was startled awake by daughter Harriet for the 3rd time that night, and Betty, bleary-eyed, thought to herself "fucking hell Baby needs a Benadryl." But, knowing drugs are not the answer, Betty rocked her to sleep and put her back in bed.
by Uncle Joosie September 13, 2021
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shitrolling

dogs rubbing themselves on a fertilized lawn
Carla took her Rat Terrier Clyde for a walk and came across a newly fertilized lawn; Clyde promptly started shitrolling to get the scent all over him
by Uncle Joosie June 23, 2020
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