by Uncle Joosie January 14, 2019
Get the ratioed to oblivion mug.Carl was super excited to match with Jacob—a 6'4" former baseball player who seemed nice and single. upon swiping to his matches page Carl saw Jacob pulled an instant ghost and deleted the connection. "Jacob is a dick; don't be like him" Carl thought to himself.
by Uncle Joosie February 16, 2020
Get the instant ghost mug.trump earned Casino Mobster nickname when he spent billions of dollars, in the freakin' 90s, to build a shithole casino in New Jersey—with tons money-laundering allegations—only to have the whole thing go bankrupt in the end.
by Uncle Joosie January 12, 2024
Get the Casino Mobster mug.After Carl made fun of Finnegan for being bald he exclaimed "wow I got you good I'm like SO awesome at this" to which Finnegan replied "wow you're like a special breed of Bragging Cunt"
by Uncle Joosie June 24, 2019
Get the Bragging Cunt mug.Louis, a mild-mannered demure guy, had just started dating horny, hung Dave. Louis wanted to "take things slow" and not fornicate right away. This gave Dave frustrated blue balls. One day after work they were heading upstairs and Dave grabbed Louis and went to the bathroom, where he pulled Louis' hand around and together they jerked Dave off leaving Driveby Knuckle Children all over the bathroom.
by Uncle Joosie March 20, 2024
Get the Driveby Knuckle Children mug.in recent testimony, Brett said he was super sure he's never sexually assaulted anyone and started phony kavanaugh tears when realizing his dream to get on the supreme court was going down the shitter.
by Uncle Joosie September 27, 2018
Get the kavanaugh tears mug.Betty was startled awake by daughter Harriet for the 3rd time that night, and Betty, bleary-eyed, thought to herself "fucking hell Baby needs a Benadryl." But, knowing drugs are not the answer, Betty rocked her to sleep and put her back in bed.
by Uncle Joosie September 13, 2021
Get the Baby needs a Benadryl mug.