Lyle was scrolling Twitter yesterday and saw Kelly Loeffler's "direct hearts to god" bible nonsense and got sick to his stomach. "my god these depraved assholes" he said aloud. "she Pulled a Marco and tweeted bible bullcrap to distract from insider trading and posing with a KKK wizard, I can't."
by Uncle Joosie December 14, 2020
Senator Mike Lee tried to scold everybody about how representative democracy isn't the objective of voting. In addition to being a cunt Mr. Lee misspelled "prosperity" as "prospefity" and proceeded to get deeply ratioed and dragged online.
by Uncle Joosie October 08, 2020
Diane was pissed after hunky Charley matched with her on Tinder only to find he was gone. “that cunt instaghosted me!” she yelled to her roommate
by Uncle Joosie May 16, 2020
When babies, dogs, kids or other people are so cute, and it becomes so aggravating, that you just want to squeeze them until their eyeballs pop out.
Karla bumped in to old-friend Susie on the street, with her three-month-old, Emmett, decked out in a sailor suit, giggling endlessly. "He is so adorable in that get-up that I just want to slap him," Karla remarked to Susie, who quickly explained that she was suffering from Violent Affection Syndrome (VAS). Susie took Emmett and kept walking down the street.
by Uncle Joosie April 17, 2014
on their third date, Titus and Benji went to a pricey Italian restaurant for a romantic dinner. Benji, 20 years younger, decided to pick up the $100 tab. later Titus called his best gal pal Karla to give her the dish and exclaimed "OMG I have a Sugar Chicken now!"
by Uncle Joosie May 24, 2019
New York’s newest congress-critter is habitual liar and tub of goo George Santos, who got sketchy cash and an entire cult of republicans behind him. the Portly Pinocchio will likely not finish his term and instead get extradited to Brazil for prosecution.
by Uncle Joosie January 17, 2023
Appearing on CBS News, Cruella de Puppykiller Kristi Noem once again tried to explain away how she murdered puppy Cricket in a gravel pit—then went on to suggest she'd probably shoot Commander, President Biden's dog. Referring to the dog as "it" just completed the picture of her violent pathology. Everyone should keep their furry children away from that psychopath.
by Uncle Joosie May 06, 2024