To feel up a girl when she isn't expecting it. Best time to do this is in a crowded area, so you can run off and can't be found. Then do it again.
When I went to my family reunion, my 3rd cousin, once removed, was in a crowd and her juicy peaches were calling me, so I ran up, coped a feel and ran away to the punch table, 2 feet over.
To defecate in a men's urinal.
All of the men's washrooms in the building now require keys for entry because Grant took a "shurinal" on the eighth floor. As a result I almost crapped my pants the other day when I lost my key. Luckily I had the sense to take a "shelevator."