The creeper's definitions

Hitchcock Scale

Much like the Richter Scale measures the strength of an earthquake, the Hitchcock Scale measures the strength of a sneeze. The scale goes from 1 to 10 where 10 is the highest. A sneeze measuring 1 is basically that of a very polite grandmother, barely a "psst." Whereas a 10 is a sneeze that results in death.

Sandy: "God bless you!"
Jon: "Thanks... that was at least an 8 on the Hitchcock Scale. I sharted and I'm still seeing spots."

by the creeper July 30, 2020

Shitstracted

When you get distracted while talking a shit and tie up the bathroom for too long.

Son what are you doing in there? It’s my turn. Sorry dad… I got shitstracted watching videos on my phone.

by the creeper October 30, 2021

indexident

A dent that appears on one's index finger from spending too much time on a laptop mouse pointer.

Dude! I was surfing porn for so long last night that I got indexident and wt

by the creeper November 11, 2009

fresh pressed poop

The act of squeezing recently picked up dog poop while in a plastic bag.

I picked up the dog poop using an inside out baggie and then squished it through my fingers. It was warm. I love the feeling of fresh pressed poop

by the creeper October 21, 2009