chore play

Chore play is the activity whereby a man tries to seduce his wife by completing menial tasks around the home which she would usually perfom herself.
Charles: damn it, I spent all afternoon cleaning the bathroom and when Esther came home she never gave me so much as a kiss, i was hoping to get some sweet booty action.

Gaylord: Damn that shit is whack, didn't that bitch know that was meant to be chore play? Hmmm she should have put out aight!
by The Padre October 18, 2009
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Duck Soup

Duck Soup is a gathering of sad and single people on a Sunday night making one last ditch effort to 'get lucky' at the weekend. Duck Soup is often frequented by lonely cougars, and fag hags but never a hottie (unless they are there to make sport of all the losers).

This phrase was coined after the 1933 movie of the same title, directed by Leo McCarey, written by Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby and starring the Marx brothers.

A gathering of Duck Soup is aptly named, because Groucho Marx described Duck Soup... '"Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together.'

In other words, all the left over or inferior crap thrown in together, but nothing exotic or tasty. thus we are in human terms left with overweight, balding, sweaty men and women, none of whom are attractive, all trying to score each other.
Jeffy; Damn Jo, look at all of these sad lonely people here at the house of Ales, whats going on?

Jo: Its Sunday night Jeffy, they are Duck Soup!
by The Padre October 20, 2009
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cock swaddler

A perjorative term used to describe a man who touches himself far more than he ought.
Mother:For crying out loud, Jacob is playing with himself again.

Father: that boys needs to take his hand off it, he's turning into a real cock swaddler!
by The Padre October 18, 2009
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gooch stroker

a gooch stroker is a person who takes pleasure from stroking the gooch of either themself or the gooch of another.

They may stroke their own gooch as part of the act of masturbation, but gooch stroking may also be totally non-sexual. Gooch strokers tend to form clans who after intense training in gooch dojos are accetped as a true gooch assasin.
Mandy: Oh Wantabe, let me stroke your gooch while I pleasure you

Wantanabe: hell no, there aint no way I'm letting your fingers anywehere near my gooch, or my bacon strip, you gooch stroker!
by The Padre October 19, 2009
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