interview date

A realistic first date.

Potential distrustful but direct couple on interview date-

Female interviewer- Would you rape a female or a child?
Male Interviewee- No.
Female interviewer- Do you expect me to believe that?

Male Interviewee- No.
Female interviewer- Have you ever hurt something you loved with a machete?
Male Interviewee- No, why?
Female interviewer- Me neither, but this is about you.

Male Interviewer- Would you stab a guy 16 times or cut his head off in his sleep?
Female Interviewee- No.
Male Interviwer- Do you expect me to believe that?
Female Interviewee- No, I mean, not any more. There was a time when people would have believed me.

by The Original Agahnim December 02, 2021

Quiet ones

The ones the noisy ones with machetes, swords, guns, or grenades want people to watch.

While you're watching your quiet ones across the street, the noisy ones are creeping up behind you on the side of the street you're on with a machete, sword, or gun ready to cut, stab, slice, or shoot the next one that tries to call them a bitch, even if most people don't take them seriously or seem to notice them.

by The Original Agahnim November 11, 2021

Cardiac cats

The team that hasn't been allowed to play ever since David Tepper became owner and took the team's spirit, showing some people that no matter how much money you have, even if it can buy you a winning team, there are things it can't buy. When there is a constant threat of guys losing their jobs if they don't meet a puppeteer's expectations, their life is being made beyond difficult, aand it's not a good way to stay focused on what you're doing (it's an ongoing distraction).

Some people miss the Cardiac cats and wonder if they're ever coming back, since they have been replaced by a lot of new uncertainty that wasn't there when Jerry Richardson was.

by The Original Agahnim December 19, 2021

Bad Will Hunting

Like Good Will Hunting except without the happy ending where Will goes to California wearing rose colored glasses to be with Skylar. Instead he becomes a unabomber and accidentally blows Skylar away by leaving a bomb in the mailbox to blow her husband (his competition) away.

Investigators could not identify Skylar's remains at the end of Bad Will Hunting. The bomb in her mailbox was for her husband, but she was in the wrong place at the right time, while Will watched in horror from the bushes.

by The Original Agahnim October 03, 2021

wildfire

Discouraging as it may get, a wildfire can be put out or even told to go fuck itself.

If New Yorkers didn't tell the wildfire go fuck itself, if they looked the gift horse in the mouth and let it parade around their streets, they were going to end up overrrun by it one day, and the strange soldiers arriving/hiding inside it (male or female) were just a little too nerdy as kids for New Yorkers to allow this kind of takeover to happen.

by The Original Agahnim November 10, 2021

Violence interrupters

People trained to discourage locals from taking a stand against weak invaders that never tell anyone in the city they invaded what they did to their city but still think they own the place, and to instead fall in line with their bullshit agenda/plan via violence to combat violence until the police show up to detain these locals.

Violence interrupters know they're there to provoke things further rather than to reduce anything, which is why they're not the funny kind of joke.

by The Original Agahnim May 25, 2021

Chess

If two people never sit down at a table and engage in the chess match, none of the pieces on the board, not even the queen (the most powerful piece) has any real power. The closer somebody gets you to the board, the more of the illusion you miss.

As long as somebody can get you to play chess, they can also get you to do what they want you to do.

by The Original Agahnim December 17, 2021