The Creeper's definitions

Shitstracted

When you get distracted while talking a shit and tie up the bathroom for too long.

Son what are you doing in there? It’s my turn. Sorry dad… I got shitstracted watching videos on my phone.

by the creeper October 30, 2021

Chargerette

San Diego Chargers cheerleaders circa 1986 who are too old to cheer at NFL games and haven't embraced the fact that they're no longer hot. They're often seen at tradeshows and in hotel lobbies stalking rich old software guys seeking extra-marital action.

Rudy went to San Diego for work and secretly hoped he might hook up with a Chargerette.

by the creeper January 17, 2018

Double Dog Ghosting

A retaliatory act that is taken if you've been the victim of ghosting whereby in the event the ghoster ever in the future re-attempts to communicate the original victim can ignore the ghoster and claim the double dog ghost.

I can't believe Edson ghosted me and four months later decided to hit me up for a booty call. I am totally double dog ghosting him.

by the creeper May 4, 2018

Hitchcock Scale

Much like the Richter Scale measures the strength of an earthquake, the Hitchcock Scale measures the strength of a sneeze. The scale goes from 1 to 10 where 10 is the highest. A sneeze measuring 1 is basically that of a very polite grandmother, barely a "psst." Whereas a 10 is a sneeze that results in death.

Sandy: "God bless you!"
Jon: "Thanks... that was at least an 8 on the Hitchcock Scale. I sharted and I'm still seeing spots."

by the creeper July 30, 2020