The Creeper's definitions

fresh pressed poop

The act of squeezing recently picked up dog poop while in a plastic bag.

I picked up the dog poop using an inside out baggie and then squished it through my fingers. It was warm. I love the feeling of fresh pressed poop

by the creeper October 21, 2009

TWADD

A person who has an attention span limited to the length of a twitter message, 140 characters or less.

My boss is a complete TWADD. I have to keep my status reports shorter than a tweet so he can comprehend the whole message. Anything longer and he won't read it.

by the creeper April 10, 2010

Shitstracted

When you get distracted while talking a shit and tie up the bathroom for too long.

Son what are you doing in there? It’s my turn. Sorry dad… I got shitstracted watching videos on my phone.

by the creeper October 30, 2021

Hitchcock Scale

Much like the Richter Scale measures the strength of an earthquake, the Hitchcock Scale measures the strength of a sneeze. The scale goes from 1 to 10 where 10 is the highest. A sneeze measuring 1 is basically that of a very polite grandmother, barely a "psst." Whereas a 10 is a sneeze that results in death.

Sandy: "God bless you!"
Jon: "Thanks... that was at least an 8 on the Hitchcock Scale. I sharted and I'm still seeing spots."

by the creeper July 30, 2020