Texas Haz's definitions

Swiss Army Dick

Those of us males with diverse sexual history and experiences, involving unusual or exotic circumstances, paraphenalia, and partners. The metaphorical Dick has a tool for every occassion, and varies accordingly when erect.

Old Swiss Army Dick had another 5-way last weekend.

by Texas Haz June 16, 2008

Country Blumpkin

An off-shoot of the famous Blumpkin (getting head while taking a shit) but performed in an outhouse. Porto-potties are an acceptable substitute, provided the location is rural.

"Uncle Cooter done got a Country Blumpkin from Mary Jane Rottencrotch last night"

by Texas Haz June 13, 2008

Mexican Deadbolt

Leaning a chair at an angle up against a door so no one can get in from the outside

I can't get in to Pedro's methlab, he's got the Mexican Deadbolt on

by Texas Haz August 25, 2011

NAFTA Special

A drink trifecta, popular in Ohio, in which the patron is served a Molson, a Bud and a Corona, drinks all three, and then leaves without paying.

I had a NAFTA Special at TGI Fridays and it didn't cost me a dime.

by Texas Haz June 16, 2008